Effective Listening Skills Will Make You Successful!

Mastering the art of effective listening skills WILL make you successful! When others notice you are paying close attention to what they are saying, they feel understood, loved and cared for. Intently listening to another person and using active listening skills will allow them to feel important and respected by you.

There are many things you can do to communicate to others that you are actively listening to them. Your use of body language, thoughtful questions and conversational motivation will communicate your interest in them and what they have to say. Improper use of any of these can be disastrous and can lead to people highly misinterpreting you.

The body language you utilize will reinforce your verbal interest in someone else. Making eye contact and facing the other person when talking with them are two things you can do to promote a positive image of yourself. This is often done on a subconscious level and is a very important component of positive communication. Leaning towards the other person when talking to them and giving them undivided attention also communicates your interest.

Asking thoughtful questions tells the other person that you are really listening to them. It also communicates that you really have a desire to understand them. Questions provoke more in depth thought about the subject matter and problems may even be solved this way. Asking thoughtful questions allows the other person to clarify their agenda.

Learning to communicate with active listening skills requires practice. Repeating what was said clarifies the other persons thoughts. Offering challenges to what the speaker has said assists them in seeing discrepancies in their thinking. Asking questions allows the other person to think about different perspectives of their topic.

These skills are most useful in the business environment but are useful in any setting. Learning the art of active listening is a CRITICAL TOOL in the workplace and, if used wisely, can and WILL make you successful!

Ann Lewis, CTA-CC Expert Author & Owner of Simply Life Travel & Simply Life Coach www.simplylifetravel.com

www.simplylifecoach.com

George S Clason

The Abilene Paradox-Is It Fact or Fiction?

Recently I conducted a creative training program for a large aerospace firm. During the course I asked the training participants to gather into teams. Once their teams were formed I asked each team to brainstorm a creative solution to a hypothetical situation. During the follow-up and team discussion about their solutions, and the process by which they arrived at their recommendation, many of the team members admitted they went along for the ride. Either they felt overwhelmed by more dominate team members, or they did not believe their solution was as strong as the one agreed upon.

In essence they agreed because everyone else was in agreement, the Abilene Paradox revisited.

For those of you who have discovered that there is fact in the Abilene Paradox you may have, like me, found the outcome of this version of going along for the ride usually ends up in a less than satisfactory outcome. For those of you who would like a refresher or a heads-up on the Abilene Paradox here it is in a nut shell, as observed by management expert Jerry B. Harvey.

On a hot afternoon visiting in Coleman, Texas, the family is comfortably playing dominoes on a porch, until the father-in-law suggests that they take a trip to Abilene (fifty-three miles away to the north) for dinner. The wife says, "Sounds like a great idea." The husband, despite having reservations because the drive is long and hot, thinks that his preferences must be out-of-step with the group and says, "Sounds good to me. I just hope your mother wants to go." The mother-in-law then says, "Of course I want to go. I haven't been to Abilene in a long time."

The drive is hot, dusty, and long. When they arrive at the cafeteria, the food is as bad. They arrive back home four hours later, exhausted. One of them dishonestly says, "It was a great trip, wasn't it." The mother-in-law says that, actually, she would rather have stayed home, but went along since the other three were so enthusiastic. The husband says, "I wasn't delighted to be doing what we were doing. I only went to satisfy the rest of you." The wife says, "I just went along to keep you happy. I would have had to be crazy to want to go out in the heat like that." The father-in-law then says that he only suggested it because he thought the others might be bored.The group sits back, perplexed that they together decided to take a trip which none of them wanted. They each would have preferred to sit comfortably, but did not admit to it when they still had time to enjoy the afternoon.

How many times have you sat back and wondered why you went along for the ride? Was it to be nice; to avoid confrontation; to try something new out of boredom? Or, did you actually believe that what was in store on this ride was going to result in a more productive outcome?

Next time you are faced with going along with the ride or the Abilene Paradox syndrome shows up in your dialog, apply assertive behavior techniques. For example, use I language. In addition, when an idea is presented that you believe will take you down a less than desirable path, speak-up and provide an alternative solution. Keep the dialog moving forward until everyone has had the opportunity to say whats on their mind then select an alternative, when appropriate. Now, lets go back to the scenario on the front porch and apply these techniques.

You might say, I think your idea is great, however I like playing dominos here on the porch with you and the family. The response may then be something like this. Well it was just a thought; I didnt want you to think I wasnt thinking of you and your Mom. You might respond with another assertive statement, Its very relaxing here in the shade and I really believe the company is what its all about. The idea about driving fifty-three miles across a dusty, hot landscape may be dropped immediately or, there may be additional input from others about alternatives that can work for everyone.

This leads us to the next important step. Lets go back to the front porch conversation. If you are the person who suggests the fifty-three mile trek, stay assertive by contributing to the ideas as they begin to unfold during the discussion. Sulking because your idea did not meet with everyones agreement makes you look as if you do not have personal confidence or confidence in others to develop additional ideas. Something wonderful may happen, you may come up with a better idea or the other individuals may come up with another idea or stay focused on the current course of action. Not all change is needed or necessary.

Whether you are in a family, team or group setting. Ask yourself. Is the proposed idea the best solution? Speak up and use the I language. And, if you suggested the original idea, listen to the recommendations of others. Figuratively speaking, who knows you may discover you really dont need to take that long fifty-three mile trek across a hot and dusty landscape there may be a different route.

Barbara L. Fielder, Author & Speaker
President
THE FIELDER GROUP, INC.

Barbara Fielder, has created effective and dynamic leadership development programs for domestic and international companies. She specializes in Human Resources, organizational development, leadership, supervision, communication, creativity and change. Barbara writes frequently on topics covering a wide range of business, leadership and communication issues. She is the author of I'm Communicating, But...Am I Being Heard? Smart & Painless Training Solutions for Busy Professionals and Motivation in the Workplace. Barbara has also written and illustrated five childrens books about Missy the Kitty.

Barbara earned her Masters in Human Resources from Kennedy-Western University, and her BSBA from Redlands University. She is a member of the National Speakers Association, American Society for Training & Development, SHRM and National Speakers Association of Tennessee. Copyright 2007 Barbara L. Fielder
http://www.thefieldergroupusa.com 1-888-255-9248 barbara@thefieldergroupusa.com

George S Clason

Jatunmayo, The Great Wanka Warrior (Part Two) A Poem

In the seventh century, in the Mantaro Valley of Peru, surrounded by the Andes, lived the unconquerable Wanka warriors, likened to the Spartans of Greece, or Gladiators of Roma. Not even the Inca could subdue them, without the help of the Conquistadores of the 15th Century, and thus, the Conquistadores enslaved the Inca along with the Wanka as well. But this is a story about Jatunmayo, as he called himself, who hunted down his equal and they fought a great fight to see who should carry the name of the Greatest of Wanka Warriors in the valley at that time. And this is the story (Part two to the Wanka Warrior Saga):

The Clash and the Great Effort

And the flesh I took it as necessaryout of the inner bowelsswiftly
casting it aside; then from the neck and shoulders two pieces of flesh;
above his elbow joint, I cut deep into his muscle with my knife,
his right hand, I took his fingers as he tried to stop the plunge,
and from his flanks I cut out fat, and yet he was still not dead!
He was but a caucus when I was through, but he still lived!

(until when, I cut his throatthen he died!)

The Defeat and Aftermath
I cast his bones into the deep of the trees but the branches caught them,
a portion of his body now lay exposed, outside the rim of the woods.
I, who killed this warrior, marked him so, claimed his hide and his soul;
I left his shoulders, head and sides to the great Wanka God, Carhuancho

(the rest he left for the condors).
It was a great hunt between he and I, blow to blow, four hours the scuffle;
wealth by wit is what it was, we were the strongest of grips, in Jatunmayo.

Written in the Mantaro Valley of Peru, 8-13-2007.

See Dennis' web site: http://dennissiluk.tripod.com

Mohandas Gandhi

'Switchwords' Powerful Tool For Creating Your Destiny

It is a well-known fact that your thoughts have power. Show me a highly successful individual and I can guarantee you that he/she has strongly defined thoughts and dreams. Thoughts are creative; deliberate thoughts enable you to bring about intentional results. You have, no doubt, heard the expression 'It's all in the attitude'. We repeat it to each other when we think the other needs an attitude adjustment. Yet, do we really give merit to just how powerful our thoughts actually are?

When you control your thoughts you exercise creative power over every aspect of your life. What you think about determines the experiences you have. You can direct your thoughts to attract the good things in life, fame, wealth, health and prosperity. The things you desire can be yours. You have the power to enjoy life richly.

'Switchwords': Your Magic Wand To Prosperity

There has been much written on the subject of positive thinking, but it is more than just positive thinking. It is learning how to tap into your creative power with intentional thinking. In other words, you do not leave your thoughts and experiences to chance. You exercise control over your thoughts, decide what you are going where your mental focus will be placed in order to produce the results you want.

For some individuals the ability to tap into this power, using both their conscious and unconscious thoughts to make their dreams a reality comes easily. It's as if they are specially gifted just as a gifted musician has the ability to play music by ear. The rest of us need to train our conscious mind to utilize the subconscious and the universal consciousness in order to attract the results we want. There are many books written on how to attract success and most are solidly founded in truths if the exercises are practiced.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could wave a magic wand that would bring you positive benefits out of every aspect of your life? Recently I found a book entitled 'Switchwords' that gives me such an edge. To quote the author, Shunyam Nirav, "Your word is your wand...thought is creative. Intentional creative thoughts bring about intentional desired results.

... A researcher and genius named James T. Mangan (1896-1970)...identified about 100 certain single words that are extraordinarily effective when used as an intentional creative thought, to bring about a specific desired result. He called these special words "switchwords."

A "switchword" is the essence of an experience, condition, or desired result, expressed as a single word. Declare, affirm, chant, sing, or even just mentally "intend" the switchword, and like turning on an electric lamp with a switch, the desired result reliably appears."

Based on James T. Mangan's findings, Switchwords is a beautiful, inspiring, and beneficial 178-page e-book that guides you through the switches to your mind power. The first 43 pages are free to read. You'll learn many of the basic switchwords and how to use them effectively to intend thoughts that bring desired results.

Powerful Affirmations For Everyday Life

With explanations on how to use the switchwords, you can begin to experience exciting changes in your life. As I personally experiment with the Switchwords I am finding it empowering, extremely productive and fun. Through the use of Switchwords I am able to unclutter my mind and focus on intentional thought giving creative power to what I am thinking. In essence, I am becoming skilled at creating my own destiny.

'Switchwords' is 101 useful "one-word-affirmations" for everyday life. This wonderful guidebook is has been helping others gain mastery over their lives for over fifty years. It is available in digital and print format.

Do you desire make the 'Law of Attraction' work for you instead of against you? Are you finding it difficult to gain control over your thoughts? Do you tend to become unfocused. Switchwords can fine tune your mind power.

In my personal experience, as I learn to utilize the 'law of attraction' with intentional thoughts, Switchwords has enabled me to stay more clearly focused on a desired outcome. I think of Switchwords as exercises for my thinking processes so that I might develop 'law of attraction' mental strength.

Doran is a believer in the law of attraction. Check out the tools for envisioning your future. http://healing-truths.com and http://atdorans.com/switchwords

Oprah Winfrey

How To Master The Art of Conversation

The art of conversation is a skill shared by most successful people. Good conversation promotes an image of self-confidence, intelligence, and wittiness.

People who always seem to rise to the top of their professions and are well respected by others who share the ability to converse with anybody in every situation.

People who seem to speak effortlessly and efficiently with others are generally well liked and highly successful.

If you need to improve your conversational skills, here are a few tips that can help you enhance your conversational skills and boost your image.

1. Always say what you think, not what you think others want you to say. Especially in a professional setting, learning to express your views and ideas in a positive, non-threatening manner will invite reactions and responses.

Effective leaders always say what they are thinking and express their ideas freely. Having the courage to speak your mind as well as listening openly to the views and ideas of others is a sure way to earn the respect and admiration of all those you encounter.

2. Listen carefully to what others are saying. People often interpret things said by others in a way that clouds their ability to hear what people are intending to say.

By giving your full attention to the speaker, you can hear what they intend for you to hear instead of what you want to hear.

The art of conversation includes the ability to listen to others as well as the ability to speak effectively.

3. Always assume that a speaker is saying exactly what they mean to say. Even if it seems unclear, try to find meaning and coherence to the words they are saying and give them the respect of hearing what they want you to hear.

In any conversation, the ability to give respect is just as important as receiving it. The art of conversation is a give and take between parties, not one speaker and one listener.

4. Any conversation can be broken down into three parts.

The first part is small talk. Small talk is dictated by social rules and includes polite greetings, inquiries about the well-being of others, etc.

Stage two is the end of the small talk and moving on to the purpose of the conversation such as business, the sharing of opinions and personal views.

Without the ability to express yourself efficiently, the conversation can easily slip back into small talk, lessening the chances of accomplishing the initial goal of the conversation.

The third part of a conversation is where the various ideas and views expressed can be merged into a satisfying end for all parties involved in the conversation.

The art of conversation is a learned skill that is common among successful, energetic people. If you are unable to effectively express yourself in any situation, you will likely find that you do not attract the attention and command the respect that is bestowed upon some others.

People who talk freely and easily with others usually find more professional and personal fulfillment than those who are introverted and silent.

If you want to improve your professional and social standing, learn to communicate efficiently and in a positive manner.

You will notice a dramatic difference in the way other people perceive you if you demonstrate self-confidence and project a friendly, informed image.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

Faith

Burning Life in Second Life

Burning Life is a fantastic time in Second Life, based on the real Burning Life in California, Daddy Linden puts up four sims for anyone with the yen to be artistic without prim count!! (Prim counts are the number of items that you have on a selected area of land in Second Life.)

It was celebration of music and art in a grand style, and grandiose builds, confirming Elven Enchantment's Vision Statement: "Everything in Second Life is art, and everyone is an artist." There was art there for all types of art lovers and depending on your enjoyment of art could be described as the good, the bad, and the ugly, but it was so much fun to view all the works and taking pictures of those ones that I thoroughly enjoyed. While trekking through the sims enjoying the wide variety of music from classical to rock and roll.

There was the fantastic sculpture of made by my friend RacerX and it was a mixture of build and particles and it was a rotating sculpture of himself, complete with fireworks! There was a build of a giant tree with an ocean floating in the air with ocean life swimming within its confines. A glass forest, giant chairs, a marble dance floor with golden couples dancing the waltz, abstract art abounded, rainclouds and rainbows. Some builds celebrated life, death, remembrance, and reminders that we all live on a planet called earth and we need to keep this planet healthy and clean so future generations will enjoy it as well. There was a lava and ice castle, the Twin Towers, and a circus, a maze with dead ends and at the center a sculpture, a Mayan pyramid, builds that had dice and dominoes inside within closed buildings making me wonder--how did they do that?

On September 30, 2007, was the day the man was burned. Unfortunately, the sim was full to capacity and I missed this event. However, I did spy some burning men and women at the sim I was on and was mollified. All this mayhem and magic disappeared at midnight on October 1, burned into our memories making us wonder if it was really there at all.

Atlantis Jewell
http://elvenenchantment.blogspot.com
Home of Drathon Montague Scripted Art and Exclusive Sponsor of Digital Knight Scripted Art Studio

Remodeling Your Home On A Budget

Discover How to Live a Happy Life

Living a happy life is not something that we just know how to do. As we go on in life it almost seems as if people teach us how to live miserable lives instead of happy ones. The truth is that you are supposed to live a happy life. Here are 3 keys to help illuminate the road to a happy life.

1. Find out what makes you happy.

Ask someone to write down 50 things that make them happy and you will find that most people start struggling to come up with things after the first 10 or 20. If you dont know what makes you happy then you dont know what to work for to make you happy. Stumbling across happiness is like stumbling across a winning lottery ticket, it rarely happens. So what makes you happy?

2. Pursue what makes you happy.

Now that you know what makes you happy its time to start implementing a plan that will help you reach happiness. Its great that you now what makes you happy now but information without action is useless. What actions will it take for you to be happy? A hint to doing this is making the entire actions dependant on you. If your happiness is dependant upon someone else you are on the wrong track. Dont rely on other people to make you happy.

3. Learn not to stress.

Notice here that I said learn not to stress. This may take some time but its important that you learn to not stress out over everything. Stress not only causes mental fatigue but it can also cause physical problems in your body. If necessary go to a stress management seminar and learn how to do this. The less stress that you have in your life the happier you will be.

Is there greatness on the inside of you but you don't know how to achieve it? Jason has just completed his brand new 7 part e-course, 'Find Your Greatness'

Get it free here: Find Your Greatness

Do you want to learn how to create law of successful habits and goals? Download Jasons new FREE ebook here: Goal Setting

Jason Osborn has dedicated himself to changing thousands of lives by helping people find their greatness and true potential through his Find Your Greatness Newsletter.

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