Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Why People Don't Listen... and Some Fun Things You Can Do About It

It's frustrating when your co-workers, audience members, teenager or even your dog (!) won't listen. While you can't control how they receive what you say, you can control how you send it. Here are a few tips on why people don't listen and what you can do to change it.

1. Short Attention Spans

When asked to guess the average adult attention span, most people say around thirty minutes. According to statistics, however, the average adult attention span is actually only seven seconds. That's right! Every seven seconds you go away somewhere. You think about something else. In fact, you could actually be taking a mental break right now! It is a normal part of how the brain integrates external stimuli like when your computer starts defragging for a moment while you type. It helps to pause from time to time when you speak. This allows people to integrate your information or ask a clarifying question. Also, include examples to anchor your concepts. For example (see--I'm doing it now!), a concept without an example is like tree without roots, a house without a Foundation, or Sonny without Cher. It just doesn't have as much staying power.

2. Too Many Distractions

I was in a meeting the other day and five people coughed, four people side talked, three cell phones rang, two people went to the restroom, and a partridge did email on his PDA. Distractions are a big part of modern life. Your best bet is to acknowledge the distractions in a playful way such as a manager who recently led a meeting I attended. When a cell phone rang, he grabbed for it and said, Oh, that's for me.my mother likes to check in on me from time to time. That prompted everyone to turn off their phones.

3. Lack of Training

Few of us were formally taught how to listen. While you probably took Reading 8, Writing 11, did you ever take Listening 10? It's little wonder listening is challenging. Quite accidentally, I learned how to listen by practicing meditation. After a five-day retreat, I felt very light-hearted and so went to visit my aging father who was hard of hearing. My habit was to sit vacantly for hours while he complained about his arthritis, the error on his bank statement, and how hard it is to find good slippers. After this retreat, I surprised myself by totally paying attention to him with patience and compassion. After about ten minutes of complaining he suddenly changed tracks and started telling me fascinating and funny stories about his childhood. Then he cranked up his hearing aid and asked about me! Learn how to be present with people, give them your full, undivided attention and be ready for some pleasant surprises.

4. Language Barriers

It is no secret that the world of business is fast becoming a multicultural world. Although English is the default language of commerce, many people in your audience may speak English as a second language. Last month I was addressing a large insurance company where most attendees turned out to be new immigrants from China. I used the expression getting jiggy with it, and I saw people rifling through their dictionaries. This prompted me to say I'm sorry, that went way over your head, and a number of people looked up at the ceiling! If your listeners are ESL or have a more basic educational background, you need to simplify your language. Use much more literal descriptions rather than cultural expressions. Use facial and body language to express humor, and fewer words.

5. Unchecked Assumptions

Back in the 70s, Gilda Radner a comedienne who regularly performed on Saturday Night Live was well known for her popular character Emily Litella, a social activist with a hearing problem. Her causes included such important issues as violins on television, soviet jewelry and endangered feces. Believe it or not, those Emily Litella types can be found in your audiences. For example, I once told a story about my mother who was a secretary for the British Civil Service in WWII. She spent most of her time daydreaming that her boss would burst into the room and ask her to spy against the Germans. She could leave the nasty paperwork behind, don a disguise and become the next Mata Hari. Needless to say, one day her boss did burst into the room but instead he fired her for daydreaming all the time. A woman approached me after this story and told me that she used to be a Hari Krishna, too. One way to clear up false assumptions is to state your point in many different ways.

6. No Reason to Listen

Finally, the main reason people don't listen is because you haven't answered their favorite question: What's in it for me? Before you start a long-winded monologue, tell your listener why you need their attention and make sure they understand how it will be benefit them. For example, I'd like to tell you about this free software that will block all the spam before it gets to your Inbox interested? That will give you much better results than When I was a youngster and I sat down in front of my first computer, I asked myself how can I make this machine work for me In general, put yourself in your listener's shoes before you talk and their ears tend to perk up.

And just remember the greatest of all wisdom--no one ever listened himself out of a new friendship.

Carla Rieger
Copyright 2005 Yes Education Systems

Carla Rieger is an expert on the artistry of change. You can reach her at http://www.carlarieger.com or at 1-866-294-2988. Carla uses proven secrets from the world of artistry to help your organization becoming a leader of innovation. She has been a professional speaker, trainer, facilitator and performance storyteller since the mid-80s. She is the director of Yes Education Systems, a creative communications and creative consulting firm since 1991. She has written three critically acclaimed manuals, Managing Change with a sense of humor, Speaking on the Funny Side of the Brain and The Heart of Presenting, in addition to many articles in trade journals and magazines. She has taught thousands to unlock the funny side of their brains, and to mine negativity both within and without for the key innovative solutions. Her work has been featured on radio, TV and many publications. She founded several theatre groups including Mad Cow Productions, Vancouver Playback Theatre and Mythic Cafe. She also wrote, produced and performed a one-woman show, Dancing Between Worlds.

Building With People Tip

From my earliest days in Sunday school, I have remembered the words that a wise man builds his house upon the rock and the foolish man builds upon the sand. For 50 years, I thought this probably sound advice for someone about to build a house. It never dawned on me that it might have some other application until I heard the following quote from Peter Drucker. The task of leadership is to create an alignment of strengths in ways that make weaknesses irrelevant.

That statement unlocked doors in my mind and with it came the realization that success really does come from building on strengths. All too often we focus on problems (weaknesses = sand) and struggle to overcome them when in fact, we would be much better off focusing on what is working (strengths = rock) and building on them.

Over the course of my career, I have had a variety of bosses. Most tried to fix me. I did have one boss who stood up before the whole sales organization and told them he had complete faith in me. I didnt realize it at the time, but my boss motivated me in a way that I would have walked through fire for him.

In fact, I didnt really understand what he had done and how it affected me until I became soccer coach and tried a positive approach to leadership. By praising the desired actions of players, I was encouraging the other players to perform in a similar fashion. You get what you praise and reward (a lesson some organizations including our government should learn). In reality, I was building on strengths (the rock) just as my boss had done.

What about your organization? Are you still playing in the sand or are you building on rock?

 Copyright Bob Cannon/The Cannon Advantage, 2007. All rights reserved.

Byline Bob Cannon helps visionary leaders enhance performance and profitability in their organizations. Check out other interesting articles available in the Taking Aim newsletter available at http://www.cannonadvantage.com . Bob can be reached at (216) 408-9495 or mailto: aim@cannonadvantage.com

This article courtesy of http://www.decision-makingtoday.com . You may freely reprint this article on your website or in your newsletter provided this courtesy notice and the author name and URL remain intact.

Asking For Help

Asking for help is not something we do naturally. We often find it painfully difficult to do because it makes us feel vulnerable, weak or ashamed; and so our fears of rejection and embarrassment get in the way.

In reality, the only real weakness is NOT asking for help. The smartest people I know understand that they do not know everything, and seek to fill those gaps in their knowledge or ability with people who do.

Life is about learning and growth and in the process, we all need help from time to time along the tricky patches. Beyond each challenge awaits an opportunity for growth; and by asking for help when we need it, we discover solutions, gain new insights, and ultimately empower ourselves.

Why It Is Smart To Ask For Help

If you reach out and ask, you will find that help does arrive and your needs are met, often exceeding your highest hopes! Just take a look at some of the reasons why it is smart to ask for help when you feel stuck:

The help you need is more likely to B68arrive if you ask for it! Keeping your problems under wraps does nothing to resolve them, so why not do something positive about it?

Asking for help lets you manage your energy more effectively. Life balance is all about managing your energy. When you ask for help with a difficulty, it frees up more energy for other areas of your life.

It opens opportunities to connect to others in new ways. Asking for help makes others aware of how they can support us and strengthens interpersonal ties.

When we ask for help, we open the door to learning. By opening up to input from others, we expand our own growth and awareness.

By breaking through fear and facing the challenge of asking, we reclaim our power! Our greatest gifts lie just beyond the things we fear the most so ask for help even when you fear the repercussions and you will reclaim your power!

How To Ask For Help

Another important aspect of finding help lies in knowing how to ask for it. Here are a few tips to keep in mind the next time you need help:

Ask for help as soon as you realize you need it. Ignored problems often escalate and become huge issues that drain energy and resources.

Recognize that everyone (including you!) deserves a helping hand, for it is in supporting one another that we all benefit and grow.

Accept that you have nothing to lose except your fear. If the person you approach can help, youll learn from the experience. If they turn you down, you can approach another.

Go to someone you trust. If they dont have the answer, theyll likely know someone who does.

Be clear on what you need. The proven words are, I need your help. Simple and to the point!

Give the person as much detail as possible. Even if you dont understand what the exact problem is, document what you know about the circumstances as well as what you need.

Get a commitment. Ask if they are able to support you and in what capacity. Getting a commitment will set your mind at ease and alleviate a lot of stress. Even if they cannot help you themselves, they may offer valuable suggestions or refer you to someone who can help. Either way, youll benefit!

When you find the solution to your problem, document it for future reference. You might run into that problem again someday when no-one is around to help, or you might pass along the information to someone else in need.

Next time you feel exhausted and overwhelmed, ask for the help you need and deserve. Ask despite your fears and with a focus on the rewards. Doing so can provide you with much more than just the help you needed.

Copyright 2006 Ada Porat

Ada Porat facilitates personal development through the integrati3D6on of body, mind and spirit. She enjoys international recognition as an inspirational speaker, teacher, author and practitioner at the leading edge of personal growth and well-being. To sign up for Ada's inspirational monthly newsletter, visit http://www.AdaPorat.com

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Book Review - Riding Between the Worlds - Expanding our Potential Through the Way of the Horse

It's only been the last eight of my 61 years that I've been with horse. I had a few cowboy moments in years gone by, but not the ownership experience with all it entails - ever heard of mucking? My first horse was better educated than I, so I got to enjoy the illusion that I knew what I was doing. Except for those moments when "Lady" would choose to suddenly gallop down the road, whether I was riding in the saddle, or driving behind in her cart, for no apparent reason. It took me awhile to catch on to the fact that she was doing it on cue, that is, in response to my unacknowledged thrill at the speed of it all.

With the new baby horse, "Sparkles," my true ignorance was exposed. We both started from scratch and learned together how to interact. For the most part, she's a willing student, but she too can suddenly bolt, not into a gallop, but straight up into the air, at the sight of - what? I didn't see anything. Was she responding to some high-flying notion passing through my head? I've had to seek expert opinions.

I'm back in school now, with Sparkles as a classmate, learning about human-animal communication. Being a recovering intellectual, I've tried to learn from books on horse whispering and pet psychics, but reading books on horses isn't the same as horsing around with the fillies themselves. Then I read5B4 Riding Between the Worlds: Expanding our Potential Through the Way of the Horse (New World Library), by Linda Kohanov. The author runs a place where people can get psychological help by interacting with her therapist horses. She calls it "Equine Facilitated Psychotherapy." Now I'm back into familiar territory, yet where I encounter a surprise.

The message of her work with horses is that they are emotional (no surprise) and respond to emotion as information. They do have the surprising tendency to act out the emotion that the human is holding back or not consciously experiencing. It is as if the horse, acting as therapist, confronts the person with their unacknowledged feelings. From these interactions and their consequences, the author reaffirms the long-standing idea of the distinction between the false self and the authentic self. She proposes that horses always interact with the person's authentic self, whether that person does or not, such that interacting with a horse forces the person to get into relationship with that authentic self.

Kohanov stresses not only the importance of the authentic self, but that we need to learn to treat our emotions as information. She offers an analysis of anger, which many of her clients have stuffed somewhere, and which causes no shortage of exciting moments with the horse therapists. She offers an alternative to either expressing anger or repressing it, an alternative that surprises me5B4 because it is one I've long worked with myself, but one others find very uncomfortable to use. She asks that we meditate on our anger to learn what it has to tell us about our boundary violations. If we take responsibility for our boundaries, then there's no need to express anger, but simply to assert the need for space. Cayce advocates, "get angry, but sin not," yet we rarely hear how to make the "getting" constructive. I practice allowing my anger to impress itself upon me, alerting me to the urgent and important information coming from within my body. To me, anger is like an angel of self-affirmation, arising because it requires me to affirm my space. Rather than ask, "why am I angry?" when the answer to that question is often dismissed as trivial, as in "no reason to get angry about that!" Instead I find it better to ask, "what is the purpose of the anger? what is its motivation? what does it want?"

Anger prompts actions, promotes fantasies of revenge, which are scary. Yet I find that, holding my thoughts within a protective boundary of my own inner explorations so that they will not touch another soul, if I explore my revenge fantasy, I find that its motivation is to create in that other person the same feeling that I am left with as a result of that person's actions toward me.

In other words, revenge seeks empathy. Blindly maybe, unconstructively for sure, but nevertheless, revenge seeks something positive. If the "pe1C84rp" could actually feel how I feel at the insult, maybe that empathy would create respect for me. Anger and the reflex toward revenge, properly understood, give important information for better consciousness of our needs, so that we can communicate our boundaries more effectively.

As Kohanov suggests, we can learn from horses what we need to improve our relations with others, including ourselves. Sparkles demands of me that I calmly, but assertively, let her know my boundaries, and her boundaries, if we are to remain safe. It is imperative. There's little room for anger to build, but it must be used - quickly, consciously, and intelligently - to rein in the power of nature, to harness it for good.

Henry Reed, Ph.D., is on staff at Atlantic University He has been the prime designer of A.R.E.'s psychic development program, in its various aspects, for the past twenty some years. He is one of the trainers of A.R.E.'s most successful, and long running, psychic training conference, "The Edgar Cayce Legacy: Be Your Own Psychic." He developed A.R.E.'s program of evaluating psychics. He has published scientific articles on his research into intuition and psychic functioning. He is the author of Edgar Cayce on Awakening Your Psychic Powers, Edgar Cayce on Channeling Your Higher Self, and Your Intuitive Heart.

Eat, Pray, Love - A Book Review

Who hasn't heard all the hype surrounding this book - Oprah's book. Several of my friends and family have recommended it to me and reluctantly, I read. I say reluctantly because I am not a big fan of reading journals. I'm a prose-girl. I have only found a few (David Sedaris, Dr. Beryl Markham, Anne Morrow Lindbergh...go to my resources page to get reviews/info) that have a voice that not only resonates with me, but doesn't bore...She bores a little - do I really need to read about her urinary track infection, the drama of embarrassment and alternative healing? I'm sorry this just isn't that big of a deal - obviously no childbirth experience...

And I guess this is at the root of the difficulty for me with this book - it really centers on her coming to terms with not waiting to have children and starting down a new path with new behaviors and new beliefs. Me - I've got two kids, a husband and a private practice, it's a balancing act here. So, after a while, her choices, behaviors and their reports became boring, predictable, slightly annoying and self-indulgent.

This is not to say there wasn't good stuff in some places, but her experiences were very "me" focused - how could they not? She didn't have any kids, divorced. She battles ferocious demons of depression. Basically, she falls apart and this is her tale of being put back together. All well and good, and this is where it loses my interest. I become slightly annoyed with this theme that to find higher spirituality you have to forsake your life and go to some far off place? Who - in the real world, has that luxury?59C Kids? Spouse? Bills? Job?

It smacks of an elitist sense of reality. Connection to the divine is not restricted to an Ashram in India or living in poverty on a bench for a year (Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now). Actually, the divine is here and now, waiting for you to step into. I didn't always believe this, but I found the key - here in my present life, not a reality that I manufacture to create an experience. Yes, I had to find a way over the years (meditation, Church, reading, mentoring, therapy...), but honestly that is an integral part of it, the journey to self.

So, I got bored with the book. I highly recommend it to ladies struggling with not having kids and fitting into a society that is sometimes at odds with that choice. This is a very real segment of society that struggles with this and needs a voice. However, I caution, you don't need to go to India to find peace. It's a choice, here today.

The struggle comes from an old belief system that you acquired during childhood and it is sabotaging your life right now. It's time to establish a new, healthier way of looking at your life with better habits such as meditation and exercise. Peace waits for us all, here, not thousands of miles away in an Ashram. However, it may feel as if resides in some far off place...this is the journey to self.

Kelly Ballard is a workshop leader, Intuitive Guide and Healer. Through workshops, private sessions and guided meditations Kelly specializes in helping others discover positive solutions for immediate change/growth in their lives thus drawing their most abundant life into reality. Find out more information about her services and meditation CDs at http://www.kellyballard.com Contact her directly at 720-984-4232 or email kelly@kellyballard.com She lives in Boulder, CO.

Our Higher Intentions - Bring Out The Best

Our higher intentions often reflect our values. Why values? I believe they help us to experience ourselves unique while still being connected. When we are aware of them, they help us to become clear on what motivates us, gives us joy, and purpose in life.

In my work, I often ask people what they appreciate about their partners and families. I find that their replies often focus strengths such as humor, creativity, kindness, wisdom, teamwork, and taking time for each other. These are mentioned more frequently than material items.

Focusing on strengths helps build our relationships. They help us to focus on our ideals and higher sense of self. By providing a deeper sense of inner purpose, they help us to look beyond ourselves to what we all hold in common.

We are gratified when we have opportunities to be the best of ourselves, in small ways, in daily life because we feel we are living up to the ideals we hold most dearly. Continuing to exercise strengths produces even more gratification. When we see this in others as well, we feel validated and work harder not to disappoint others' faith in us.

There is an underlying principle that applies to all of our relationships. We experience more happiness and joy by rising to the occasion, using our strengths, and bringing out the best of ourselves and others, than by focusing on our weaknesses.

So what makes for true happiness? I'd say discover and honor your sense of purpose and strengths. Have enough of life's pleasures to meet your basic needs and spice your life with opportunities and challenges to bring out your best.

Visit http://www.lifetreesolutions.com to find out more about the role of values and strengths in creating harmony in your relationships.

Casualty of Divorce - Self Esteem

The reason for a5B4nd the process of divorce is as varied as the shape of snowflakes. There is however a commonality among most divorce survivors - low self-esteem. Almost everyone I have spoken to or have coached around divorce recovery have low self-esteem in common. Therefore, one of the first steps in divorce recovery should be rebuilding your self-esteem. How do you go about rebuilding your self esteem, especially during an emotionally low point such as divorce?

The answer to that question is easy - you choose to change. Okay, so the answer may be easy but the implementation may not be so easy, right?

You may assume that the most common approach may be to look at why you are suffering from such low self-esteem, but I beg to differ. The truth is that you do suffer from low self-esteem - how you got to this point is not relevant because it has already happened - can't change that fact. All you can do is start from where you are now and decide where you want to go, so let's get started.

Here are seven steps to help you rebuild your self-esteem

1. Surround yourself with positive people: negative people drag the people around them down and positive people motivate others to come up to their level of enthusiasm. So take a look at the people in your life - are they positive? If they are not positive people I recommend limiting or eliminating your association with these people as they will keep you stuck. Go in search for people who a5B4re positive and are living the life they love and surround yourself with them.

2. Take Risks: try something new, step outside of your comfort zone. Once you realize that you can succeed at whatever you try you will start to believe that you are good enough. If you can't do it alone find a support buddy to try something new with or at least have them hold you accountable so you follow through when you start feeling uncomfortable.

3. Keep an Acknowledgement Journal: take the time to appreciate yourself and all that you do and contribute to the world. Begin writing down at least five things that you acknowledge yourself for doing each day, you will be amazed how wonderful you are - you just never took the time to look.

4. Make a commitment to change: you can choose to feel good or you can choose to feel bad about yourself and your life. What do you choose? Make the commitment to change your thinking today. Start appreciating what is right in the world and in your life and change the things that you don't like or don't want - stop being the victim and start taking action.

5. Change your Negative Self Talk: you know that voice in your head that tells you that you screwed up, that you're not good enough or you're stupid? Start telling that voice to shut up and start listening to the positive self talk. I challenge you to pay close attention to what you are telling yourself in any given situation; if it is negative find5B4 a way to turn it around into something positive. You learned how to talk negatively to yourself now teach yourself how to talk positively. Believe it or not it is a choice - will you live your life in negativity or will you shine in the light of positiveness?

6. Ask for support: if you find that you just can't make these changes on your own, but are committed to change then ask others for support. Find a coach, minister or support group to help you learn to appreciate yourself for all your greatness and leave that negative self-esteem behind.

7. Take Action: start to get moving, whether you start walking, running, going to the gym or work out at home - just do something. Physical activity is a great way to make you feel better both physically and emotionally. Make the commitment to get moving today and before you know it you will see your self-esteem skyrocket and you may even be able to fit into your skinny jeans again, who knows. Wouldn't hurt to find out, now would it?

If you are motivated to turn that self-esteem around and start living your life in a positive light then contact me for a sample coaching session.

Lisa A. Fredette is a CTA Certified Life Coach and a member of the Relationship Coaching Institute as well as a graduate of the Fearless Living Workshop. She is the owner of Passionate About Li5DFfe Coaching and Passionate About Life Coach Divorce Recovery Coaching Club. Lisa provides one on one and group coaching, workshops, teleseminars, ebooks, ecourses and a coaching club for her clients. Her main focus is on supporting women who are motivated to take their divorce recovery to the next level and singles who want to attract the right partner. Sign up for Lisa's free report "Be the Navigator: Six Easy Steps to Getting Back into the Driver's Seat of Life" at http://www.lisafredette.com or sign up for the Passionate about Life Coach - Divorce Recovery Coaching Club at http://www.passionateaboutlifecoach.com and gain the support you need to turn your divorce into a celebration of life.

Spiritual Movies and Ideas

Self Improvement Soup - A Simple Recipe for Success

The trick to self improvement is to put enough of your resources into things that will help your life go where you want it to go, and to minimize the amount of focus given to things that will keep you from making that happen.

It's a simple concept, but many people apply too much of their focus onto certain areas, while not putting enough of their focus on areas that need more attention. This causes an imbalance that ultimately leads to a lack of confidence, happiness, and overall contentment.

You could break down your life into almost limitless individual compartments that require your attention, although almost everything that you need to focus on will fall under the general umbrella of 3 primary areas: Health, Wealth, and Relationships.

Health - This obviously includes the health of your physical body, but it also includes your mental health, your level of peace with spirituality or religion, and also your general attitude and outlook on life.

Wealth - This could mean actual money in the bank or other assets, it could mean job security and prospects, or it could mean something as simple as your level of career satisfaction, and your belief in your chosen career to provide for your needs in the short-term as well as the long-term.

Relationships - This includes relationships with a partner, spouse, or significant other, it also includes friendships, the desire or ability to spend time with family members, and it could also include your level of contentment with how you deal with co-workers, and even strangers who are met in public.

As we go through life looking to accomplish goals in certain areas, it is very easy and natural to focus on one particular area, especially if we feel a serious lack of success in that area.

For instance, someone who wants to lose weight will probably focus more of their attention on their weight loss efforts, while not giving as much consideration to what is happening with their relationships, or with their finances.

On the flip side, someone who is very focused on building or maintaining a career will often take their relationships as well as their health almost to the point of neglect while they expend almost all of their mental energy on tasks related to their career.

For someone who is absolutely thrilled with their spouse, partner, or significant other, that person will often spend very little time tending to their health, yet they will spend money outside of their means in order to enjoy their relationship to the fullest.

In each of these examples, there is certainly nothing wrong with taking one area of your life and focusing attention on it in order to achieve success, and it is often the case that one or more areas of life are stable enough that they do not need as much attention as the other area5B4s.

However, we live in a society where people tend to take things to the extreme, and the attention that is given to an area of life that is falling behind is often given by taking needed attention away from other areas. We tend to overcompensate in our desire to lose weight, build a career, or have successful relationships, so those areas end up getting more than their fair share of the available resources, and the other areas suffer as a result.

In order to practice the fine art of self improvement you need to recognize that the key to success lies in balancing your resources so that all areas of your life receive enough attention.

Excelling in one area of your life, or even two, but then leaving the third area to fall flat will only set you up for an unbalanced - and ultimately unhappy - lifestyle. People who say that they don't really care very much about one area or another are not really making an accurate statement.

If someone says that they don't really care about making a lot of money, that may very well be the case. However, that doesn't mean that money isn't a part of their life that needs to be factored in. Very few people can make it in the world without at least a minimal means of supporting themselves.

The person who says that they are not really concerned about their health because they think that life is about "enjoying the ride" may be truthful when making a statement like that. However, t5B4hat same person who has a heart attack or a stroke as a result of their consistently negative health habits will almost always have a change of heart regarding their level of health.

Someone who claims to not need a partner, or who isn't interested in relationships with friends or family may truly feel that way. However, when the right type of relationship or social opportunity comes along, they will very likely engage in it because it is something that they can enjoy, or that they feel comfortable with.

Remember, balancing out these three areas of your life does not mean that each area gets an equal share of your attention. Whenever you are making soup, do you put the same amount of every single ingredient into the soup? Of course not.

Balance in life - or in soup - does not mean the same amount of every ingredient, but rather in knowing which ingredients need to be added in higher amounts, while lowering the amount of other ingredients.

Take a look at your own life and you will probably see that certain areas are taking up too much of your time and your mental energy, thus throwing off your balance. Redistribute some of your resources, and in so doing, remind yourself that all areas of your life are worthy of your attention!

Aaron Potts is the founder of Personal Development Part493ners, and the author of the widely popular Today is that Day Blog, which teaches about self improvement, personal development, and the Law of Attraction. Visit his site to learn more and to sign up for his free newsletter!

Teen Spiritual Movies

Monday, July 14, 2008

Personal and Professional Development

When people ask me about my business, I tell them Im in the learning business that we help organizations, teams and individuals reach their potential through learning. This is a fine statement and it does describe the breadth of what we do, but it often leads to the follow-up question like . . . Do you do personal development stuff or just business skills training?

My answer is yes.

Because I dont believe there is a significant difference between personal development and professional development.

Why do I say that?

The Reasons Why

Since my opinion might differ from yours, or perhaps youve never thought about it this, it makes sense to explain myself. There are at least five major reasons why I think personal and professional development are the same thing.

Learning is Learning. We were granted an amazing potential for learning at birth. Most of us havent used very much of that potential. Its like we are mowing our lawn with a jet engine. Sure the jet engine has enough horsepower to turn the blade, but it has virtually unlimited potential that isnt being used. When we are learning we are increasing our 5A8capacity to learn more because we are flexing and exercising our learning muscles. In other words whenever we are learning we are increasing our capacity to learn even more.

All Experience Counts. One of the powerful ways that we learn is by connecting new learning to what we already know. As we continue to build our knowledge and experiences, it allows us to make new connections faster. In other words, the more we learn, the more successful we will be at learning new things and in most situations; more quickly with deeper understanding.

Were a Whole Package. It isnt like we go to work and dont use anything we know from our personal life to be more effective professionally. And while we may not need to know how to repair rotating drum equipment at home those skills might help you diagnose the problem with your washing machine. And even though you dont have to back up the system database at home, you might be able to deal with your home PC better because of what you learned at work. And while you hope youll never need to follow the new Customer Service procedure at home, that procedure might teach you something a following a process, or being more understanding when you are the Customer.

The bottom line is that we are complete humans, and as such we take our entire work knowledge home, and bring all of our personal knowledge and experience to work. So any form5B4 of growth or development will benefit you both personally and professionally.

The Most Important Skills are Always the Most Important. Where does being a better listener help you at home or at work? Both, of course. When you learn how to coach more effectively at work does it make you a better parent? It sure can!

We could make a long list of these valuable skills, from communication to dealing with conflict, to learning how to learn, to giving better feedback to being more creative you get the idea (and have probably thought of five other examples yourself by now). There are many skills that we might learn as self improvement that will help us at work, and vice versa. So why label it one or the other?

Serendipity Rules. Because our learning grows based on connections, you never know when something you learned on the Discovery Channel might give you an aha at work, or that the insight shared by the seminar leader at work helps you solve a vexing problem at home. Again, all development, all learning, all growth helps us in all parts of our lives.

But Wait

Does all of this mean that as I become a better knitter or bowler, Ill be more productive and successful at work? Yes, for the reasons I described above (and some others too).

That doesnt mean that your organization should send everyone to knitting class or bowling lessons, but it does mean that t53Chere is substantial merit in supporting any form of learning regardless of the content.

In the end, my goal is to help you view all skills more broadly in their application instead of classifying some things as personal development and therefore they dont matter at work.

Learning is learning. Personal development is professional development.

When you stop worrying about the distinctions, but rather think about the applications, you serve yourself and others much better.

Kevin Eikenberry is a leadership expert and the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group (http://KevinEikenberry.com), a learning consulting company. To receive a free Special Report on leadership that includes resources, ideas, and advice go to http://www.kevineikenberry.com/leadership.asp or call us at (317) 387-1424 or 888.LEARNER.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Asking For Help

Asking for help is not something we do naturally. We often find it painfully difficult to do because it makes us feel vulnerable, weak or ashamed; and so our fears of rejection and embarrassment get in the way.

In reality, the only real weakness is NOT asking for help. The smartest people I know understand that they do not know everything, and seek to fill those gaps in their knowledge or ability with people who do.

Life is about learning and growth and in the process, we all need help from time to time along the tricky patches. Beyond each challenge awaits an opportunity for growth; and by asking for help when we need it, we discover solutions, gain new insights, and ultimately empower ourselves.

Why It Is Smart To Ask For Help

If you reach out and ask, you will find that help does arrive and your needs are met, often exceeding your highest hopes! Just take a look at some of the reasons why it is smart to ask for help when you feel stuck:

The help you need is more likely to B68arrive if you ask for it! Keeping your problems under wraps does nothing to resolve them, so why not do something positive about it?

Asking for help lets you manage your energy more effectively. Life balance is all about managing your energy. When you ask for help with a difficulty, it frees up more energy for other areas of your life.

It opens opportunities to connect to others in new ways. Asking for help makes others aware of how they can support us and strengthens interpersonal ties.

When we ask for help, we open the door to learning. By opening up to input from others, we expand our own growth and awareness.

By breaking through fear and facing the challenge of asking, we reclaim our power! Our greatest gifts lie just beyond the things we fear the most so ask for help even when you fear the repercussions and you will reclaim your power!

How To Ask For Help

Another important aspect of finding help lies in knowing how to ask for it. Here are a few tips to keep in mind the next time you need help:

Ask for help as soon as you realize you need it. Ignored problems often escalate and become huge issues that drain energy and resources.

Recognize that everyone (including you!) deserves a helping hand, for it is in supporting one another that we all benefit and grow.

Accept that you have nothing to lose except your fear. If the person you approach can help, youll learn from the experience. If they turn you down, you can approach another.

Go to someone you trust. If they dont have the answer, theyll likely know someone who does.

Be clear on what you need. The proven words are, I need your help. Simple and to the point!

Give the person as much detail as possible. Even if you dont understand what the exact problem is, document what you know about the circumstances as well as what you need.

Get a commitment. Ask if they are able to support you and in what capacity. Getting a commitment will set your mind at ease and alleviate a lot of stress. Even if they cannot help you themselves, they may offer valuable suggestions or refer you to someone who can help. Either way, youll benefit!

When you find the solution to your problem, document it for future reference. You might run into that problem again someday when no-one is around to help, or you might pass along the information to someone else in need.

Next time you feel exhausted and overwhelmed, ask for the help you need and deserve. Ask despite your fears and with a focus on the rewards. Doing so can provide you with much more than just the help you needed.

Copyright 2006 Ada Porat

Ada Porat facilitates personal development through the integrati3D6on of body, mind and spirit. She enjoys international recognition as an inspirational speaker, teacher, author and practitioner at the leading edge of personal growth and well-being. To sign up for Ada's inspirational monthly newsletter, visit http://www.AdaPorat.com

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

6 Ways to Release Stress

We are currently living in a capitalist society where money and power rule. Therefore, many of us have become workaholics and often overlook signs of tiredness in order to stay on track. I am not saying that people should stop working hard to achieve their goals. However, there is a slight problem we do not know how to manage our stress, which is definitely not a good thing! Stress has been linked to mental/emotional (depression, anxiety, and anger) and physical illnesses (weakens the immune system). Therefore, it is more than important that you constantly work on reducing your stress level in order to maintain your overall health. The bottom line is, if we are not healthy there is no money or power that will make things better. So, take care of yourself. Below, I have added six stress releasing tips.

Exercise: even if you go for a walk for 15-25 minutes four days a week it will help your body to get rid of adrenaline and produce endorphins (a natural tranquilizer). Not to mention you will not only feel better, you will also look the part.

Yoga: Many ramble that practicing yoga is the best way to manage or release stress. It focuses on breathing techniques, exercises, connecting with the universe on a spiritual and mental level. If this option seems interesting to you I suggest you do some research in order to learn the principles and decide if it is for you.

Stretch: People often stretch before and after a workout. However, learning stretching and flexing exercises to use as a way to relieve tension on many different areas of the body can help a great deal.

Massage: We all know how massages can help us relax and release tension. Prices start around $40 for 30 minutes; it all depends on what extra relaxation techniques you would like to add to the massage such as aromatherapy, oils, etc. There are also different types of massages so this will also affect the price. I actually found a therapist that charges $33 for a 30 minute session. It sounds pretty goo573d to me. We waste money in so many different ways so investing on a massage once in a while will not kill our pockets.

Laugh it off: Rent a funny movie and laugh out loud. Go out with friends or host gatherings. Tell everyone to bring a platter. Remember the key is to release tension not, add to it. Use paper plates and plastic cups to reduce the amount of work.

Take a break- Take time to relax, sleep, and maybe even take a vacation if you can. Your body does not only need it; you deserve it.

Live stress free,

Kenia Morales

----------------------------------------------

You may reprint this article as long as no changes are made without permission and hyperlink is maintained active.

Kenia Morales is the publisher of online magazine http://kpatra.com "For Every Aspect of Today's Woman. Visit her site to find a variety of women related issues and topics" click here http://www.kpatra.com/keniascolumn.htm to find Kenia's little piece of heaven her inspirational column

Teaching Yoga for Stress Management

It is important to understand that Yoga manages to lower stress levels - not eliminate them. Stress is a very natural survival process, because manageable stress motivates us to improve our lives. If humankind never felt stress, we might still be very content painting on the walls of caves.

Parents want to take all of the stress from their children's lives. While this is a noble cause, children also need a little stress to prosper in life. Parents should be responsive, compassionate, and take the time to give constructive guidance, but it should be realized that children become successful when they learn to overcome their challenges.

How would any of us be able to test our personal limitations without stress? If everything was handed to us, without any effort on our part, we would not be self-sufficient. We would be no different from a spoiled child, who receives an allowance for doing nothing.

Therefore, in regard to stress, the goal of Yoga is to reduce it to a manageable level. High levels of stress can cause head, back, and stomach aches, anxiety, trembling, vomiting, panic attacks, fainting, and worse.

Yoga teachers are equipped with many techniques to alleviate stress. Pranayama, mantra, japa, asana, meditation, mudra, proper diet, and relaxation, are useful aspects of the nine traditional branches of Indian Yoga. Coincidentally, all of these Yogic aspects can be refined separately, or in combination with each other, to make life less painful and less stressful.

After Yoga students experience the bliss of being able to reduce their stress levels, at will, they learn to appreciate life's ups and downs. It is hard for anyone to appreciate a challenge if they are overwhelmed by it.

Some people have reached a state, so full of anxiety, that they have lost touch with reality. Life can be so full of pain, panic, and anxiety, that it seems as if all hope is lost. Immediate solutions are needed - including a consultation with a counselor, family physician, or a therapist.

In this case, the student or client should also learn Yogic stress management techniques as soon as possible. Yoga teachers must teach students to experience a state of tranquility, before discussing the reality of a life with controlled or reduced stress.

If a man is dying of thirst in a hot, dry desert, it is extremely hard to convince him that he will find clean water over the next hill. The proof comes to him when he drinks the water and feels his body cool off. With that said, students must actually experience happiness, tranquility, and bliss, in our Yoga classes, for them to gain the insight of managing their stress levels.

Copyright 2008 - Paul Jerard / Aura Publications

Paul Jerard, E-RYT 500, has written many books on the subject of Yoga. He is a co-owner and the Director of Yoga Teacher Training at: Aura Wellness Center, in Attleboro, MA -http://www.aurawellnesscenter.com - He has been a certified Master Yoga Teacher since 1995. To receive a Free Yoga e-Book: "Yoga in Practice," and a Free Yoga Newsletter, please visit: http://www.yoga-teacher-training.org/index.html

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Personal and Professional Development

When people ask me about my business, I tell them Im in the learning business that we help organizations, teams and individuals reach their potential through learning. This is a fine statement and it does describe the breadth of what we do, but it often leads to the follow-up question like . . . Do you do personal development stuff or just business skills training?

My answer is yes.

Because I dont believe there is a significant difference between personal development and professional development.

Why do I say that?

The Reasons Why

Since my opinion might differ from yours, or perhaps youve never thought about it this, it makes sense to explain myself. There are at least five major reasons why I think personal and professional development are the same thing.

Learning is Learning. We were granted an amazing potential for learning at birth. Most of us havent used very much of that potential. Its like we are mowing our lawn with a jet engine. Sure the jet engine has enough horsepower to turn the blade, but it has virtually unlimited potential that isnt being used. When we are learning we are increasing our 5A8capacity to learn more because we are flexing and exercising our learning muscles. In other words whenever we are learning we are increasing our capacity to learn even more.

All Experience Counts. One of the powerful ways that we learn is by connecting new learning to what we already know. As we continue to build our knowledge and experiences, it allows us to make new connections faster. In other words, the more we learn, the more successful we will be at learning new things and in most situations; more quickly with deeper understanding.

Were a Whole Package. It isnt like we go to work and dont use anything we know from our personal life to be more effective professionally. And while we may not need to know how to repair rotating drum equipment at home those skills might help you diagnose the problem with your washing machine. And even though you dont have to back up the system database at home, you might be able to deal with your home PC better because of what you learned at work. And while you hope youll never need to follow the new Customer Service procedure at home, that procedure might teach you something a following a process, or being more understanding when you are the Customer.

The bottom line is that we are complete humans, and as such we take our entire work knowledge home, and bring all of our personal knowledge and experience to work. So any form5B4 of growth or development will benefit you both personally and professionally.

The Most Important Skills are Always the Most Important. Where does being a better listener help you at home or at work? Both, of course. When you learn how to coach more effectively at work does it make you a better parent? It sure can!

We could make a long list of these valuable skills, from communication to dealing with conflict, to learning how to learn, to giving better feedback to being more creative you get the idea (and have probably thought of five other examples yourself by now). There are many skills that we might learn as self improvement that will help us at work, and vice versa. So why label it one or the other?

Serendipity Rules. Because our learning grows based on connections, you never know when something you learned on the Discovery Channel might give you an aha at work, or that the insight shared by the seminar leader at work helps you solve a vexing problem at home. Again, all development, all learning, all growth helps us in all parts of our lives.

But Wait

Does all of this mean that as I become a better knitter or bowler, Ill be more productive and successful at work? Yes, for the reasons I described above (and some others too).

That doesnt mean that your organization should send everyone to knitting class or bowling lessons, but it does mean that t53Chere is substantial merit in supporting any form of learning regardless of the content.

In the end, my goal is to help you view all skills more broadly in their application instead of classifying some things as personal development and therefore they dont matter at work.

Learning is learning. Personal development is professional development.

When you stop worrying about the distinctions, but rather think about the applications, you serve yourself and others much better.

Kevin Eikenberry is a leadership expert and the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group (http://KevinEikenberry.com), a learning consulting company. To receive a free Special Report on leadership that includes resources, ideas, and advice go to http://www.kevineikenberry.com/leadership.asp or call us at (317) 387-1424 or 888.LEARNER.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Know Your Muscle Building Exercises - The Legs

Every bodybuilder and weight trainer will have his or her favorite exercises for each body part. That's how it should be - as you progress through the various stages of learning you'll understand what works best for you. It is useful, however, to take stock of your progress every so often and carry out an analysis of where you are and what changes, if any, are needed to move onwards and upwards.

Part of this analysis should include an assessment of the core exercises that make up your bodybuilding training program. In this article we'll look at the leg exercises that have proven their worth to serious bodybuilders for many years. Where appropriate a series of exercises suitable for achieving pre-exhaustion will be presented. All exercises should be performed to failure with one set of six to eight reps.

1. Leg extension - this exercise will allow you to isolate the thigh muscles preserving the strength of the other leg muscles for the compound exercise to follow.

- Push the pads until the knees are almost locked.

- Pause.

- Lower with control to the starting position.

2. Leg press - you can move straight on to this exercise if you are sufficiently experienced.

- Place your feet firmly at shoulder width on the foot board.

- Bend the legs until they are almost touching the chest.

- Pause.

- Return with control to the starting position.

Richard Mitchell is the creator of the bodybuildingadvisor.com website that provides guidance and information to athletes at all levels of bodybuilding experience. Go to Bodybuilding Advice to learn more about the issues covered in this article.

Attracting Your Fitter Body

Have you wondered whether you could use the power of your thoughts to help you lose weight and get fit? Of course you can! There are a few things you need to do to make sure you succeed.

First of all, you need to realize all the negativity being thrown at you about weight. You get told all the time that if you eat a particular food, you will get fat. Or, you get told that because others in your family are overweight, you are destined to be fat. Perhaps your mother told you that it was much harder to lose weight after 40, so now you simply do not try as you get older. These are common things we all hear and accept as truth. What you believe to be true becomes the reality. You have made your efforts much more difficult, even impossible, by taking these thoughts and attributing authority to them.

Examine the ideas and beliefs you have about exercise, fitness and diet. If you believe that sitting at a desk all day without ever getting any exercise will cause you to gain weight, then that is what will happen. What we expect to happen determines what actually happens. If you want to change the outcome, you have to work on how you think first. Starting now to change how you think and what you do will bring very real results in changes to your body. The good news is that you have complete control over every outcome.

A lot of us confuse self-image with our bodies. Your true self is what makes you YOU, your skills and abilities and what is in your heart. The type of body you have is not your true self. How you see your body however can and does affect how you feel about yourself. Changing your thoughts will change everything. When you look at yourself in the mirror every morning, do you make a disgusted face at the image? How much negative energy did you just spoon-feed yourself (pun intended)? When you are feeling negative, you attract more of the same.

In order to start attracting better things for yourself and realize the fitter body that you used to have or have always wanted, stop judging yourself. You only have this one body and it needs your care. You can change it so that you can live a healthier, happier life. Starting right now, look in the mirror and love yourself, as clichd as that sounds. Just try it and you will be amazed at how much better you feel. If you feel better, your thoughts will be more positive. In turn, you will become better motivated to start attracting the things into your life that will bring that fitter body to you.

Robin Skeen
http://www.robinskeen.com

Robin lives i419n the lovely state of Ohio, USA. She is a freelance writer and her website contains her reflections on inspired personal growth - transforming body, mind and spirit so you can live your best life NOW! To find out more, visit today at http://www.robinskeen.com and check back on a regular basis for free reports and eBooks.

Perfects Abs - Three Ab Routines To Show Your Six Pack

Crazy, ripped, hard abs. That's the key to showing an awesome body. If you think that all training is about is making sure your chest is big enough to make your shirt hang out past your stomach then youre missing the boat. Chiseled abs is awesome abs.

How do you get ripped abs?

It's about diet, cardio and hard ab routines. I'll give you the low down on how to burn in some washboard abs with this killer ab routine and save the diet ramble for another time.

First of all if your not training abs, start. That would be beginner ab routine phase one! Three sets of crunches for 20 reps a set. If that's not a problem then superset each set of crunches with a set of hip roles, followed by a brief 30 second rest to let the burn fizzle a bit.

For hip roles you lie on the ground pushing down with your hands and raise your pelvis off the floor so the tail bone comes right up and squeeze the abs!

Last step in the beginner ab routine is to add in some bridges or "planks" as some "guru's" of fitness have coined them. This is basically a pushup position but you don't rest on your hands, you rest on your forearms and just hold it for 30-60 seconds. Don't let your lower back sag! Keep a slightly inverted c posture like your trying to pull your hips toward your chin.

So here is the ab routine once you are working all exercises together.

Beginner ab routine phase 1:
Crunch x20
Hip roll x20
Bridge for 30-60 seconds
Rest and repeat for 3 circuits or just keep rotating through!

Alright enough of the easy stuff, we're here for some serious abs, killer abs.

Onto Ab Routine 2: The ab killer! I love pet names.

This ab routine will all be done on the decline bench.

The first ab exercise? Decline hip roll/leg raise. Beauty!

Step 1: Put your head where your feet should be

Step 2: grab the bench or the footholds; whichever is more comfortable (not that it will matter in a few minutes)!

Step 3: Stretch out and do a straight-legged leg raises.

Step 4: once at the top of the leg raise turn it into a hip roll so that you point your feet at the ceiling. Hold for a three count and go back down!

Second ab routine exercise:
Incline sit-ups:
Step 1: put your feet in the foot holds (you've turned around!)
Step 2: Lower yourself until you're about a foot short of lying fully back
Step 3: Come back up if youre still with me!

Third ab routine exercise:
Incline Russian twists (even sounds evil doesn't it?)

Step 1: don't move out of the sit up position. Just grab a medicine ball or a 10- pound weight.

Step 2: straighten fully your arms right to your front and lower yourself to the bottom position of the incline sit up and hold it.

Step 3: Rotate to the right 90 degrees with your arms straight and then back to the left at 90 degrees. That's one rep. You don't come out of the bottom at all! Fun huh?

Here it is ab routine layout:
Leg raise/hip roll x20
Incline sit-ups x20
Russian twists x20 or 40 if you count both sides!

No rest between ab exercises, and only 30-60 seconds rest after completing the tri-set.

Third Ab Routine:
And the grand daddy hardest ab routine ever? For mortals anyway? Because I remember something about homer Simpson and a cannon ball, but I think you need to have access to the applesauce bar for that ab routine to work!

Well lets call it the "commando cardio ab annihilation" workout. I have to have a fancy name on it or you wouldn't be interested! It involves a pre-stretch, a contraction and a dynamic stabilization (I just made that up, but you get the idea) exercise. Here are the ab routine exercises.

1. Smith machine, Swiss ball hip rolls
2. Partner resisted Swiss ball crunches
3. Swiss ball rollouts
4. Profuse sweating and clutching of the stomach.

Ab routine exercise 1: Smith machine, Swiss ball hip rolls:

1.Set the bar low in the smith machine, just below the top of the Swiss ball.

2. Sit on the ball and roll out so that you have to reach back and grab the bar as you lie on the ball. You should be about 2-3 feet away, stabilizing your self by holding the bar and flexing everything!

3. Using only your abs, stretch your pelvis down as low as it will go and then do a hip roll. Legs straight is the hardest.

Ab routine exercise 2: Partner resisted Swiss ball crunches.

1. Its a normal Swiss ball ab crunch but your arms are crossed across your chest and your "friend" pushes down on your shoulders to apply resistance. That's it,..ahem.

Ab routine exercise 3: Swiss ball rollouts.

1. Kneel on a pad with legs crossed ball in front of you not on the pad.

2. Your hands are on the ball so it now looks like your praying?

3. Roll the ball out until your straight as a board with your head between your arms and pull it back in.

4. Profuse sweating and clutching of the stomach. This should come naturally.

In an ab routine all together?

Smith machine/Swiss ball hip rolls x20

Partner resisted Swiss ball crunches x20

Swiss ball rolloutsx20

Rest 30-60 seconds after each tri-set circuit or continue right through if you're a freak of nature or slightly "touched". I've never gotten 20 on all ab exercises on all three sets in a continuous circuit, let me know if you do!

I'll have to buckle down!

Ray Burton is a motivational speaker, an ISSA-certified personal trainer, philanthropist, and author of the best selling weight loss book, "Fat To Fit - The Journey Ray has written hundreds of articles and been featured in Rising Women, The Calgary Sun, and www.Crosstrainer.ca

For info on Ray's book, visit the home page at: http://www.FatToFitBook.com. To get Rays FREE weight loss tips newsletter visit his weight loss website.

Attracting Your Fitter Body

Have you wondered whether you could use the power of your thoughts to help you lose weight and get fit? Of course you can! There are a few things you need to do to make sure you succeed.

First of all, you need to realize all the negativity being thrown at you about weight. You get told all the time that if you eat a particular food, you will get fat. Or, you get told that because others in your family are overweight, you are destined to be fat. Perhaps your mother told you that it was much harder to lose weight after 40, so now you simply do not try as you get older. These are common things we all hear and accept as truth. What you believe to be true becomes the reality. You have made your efforts much more difficult, even impossible, by taking these thoughts and attributing authority to them.

Examine the ideas and beliefs you have about exercise, fitness and diet. If you believe that sitting at a desk all day without ever getting any exercise will cause you to gain weight, then that is what will happen. What we expect to happen determines what actually happens. If you want to change the outcome, you have to work on how you think first. Starting now to change how you think and what you do will bring very real results in changes to your body. The good news is that you have complete control over every outcome.

A lot of us confuse self-image with our bodies. Your true self is what makes you YOU, your skills and abilities and what is in your heart. The type of body you have is not your true self. How you see your body however can and does affect how you feel about yourself. Changing your thoughts will change everything. When you look at yourself in the mirror every morning, do you make a disgusted face at the image? How much negative energy did you just spoon-feed yourself (pun intended)? When you are feeling negative, you attract more of the same.

In order to start attracting better things for yourself and realize the fitter body that you used to have or have always wanted, stop judging yourself. You only have this one body and it needs your care. You can change it so that you can live a healthier, happier life. Starting right now, look in the mirror and love yourself, as clichd as that sounds. Just try it and you will be amazed at how much better you feel. If you feel better, your thoughts will be more positive. In turn, you will become better motivated to start attracting the things into your life that will bring that fitter body to you.

Robin Skeen
http://www.robinskeen.com

Robin lives i419n the lovely state of Ohio, USA. She is a freelance writer and her website contains her reflections on inspired personal growth - transforming body, mind and spirit so you can live your best life NOW! To find out more, visit today at http://www.robinskeen.com and check back on a regular basis for free reports and eBooks.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Common Thinking Errors

There are certain mindsets or points of view that can be counter-productive to good communication. These errors in thinking, and if taken to the extreme, can inhibit both personal growth and growth in relationships. Here is the list:

1. All or nothing thinking: You see th514ings in extremes, everything is black or white. This can be obvious or subtle for example saying 'He is always late, but I never get angry over it'. This mindset can be that of the perfectionist also.

2. Minimizing or catastrophizing: You exaggerate the importance of small things. 'The entire meal was ruined because the desert was not served promptly.' Is this a catastrophe? An example of minimizing is taking a significant issue or event and reducing its importance so it appears inconsequential. People often do this so as not to have to deal with uncomfortable emotions or consequences.

3. Overgeneralization: You take a single event and draw general conclusions that it is universally true. If your date is late you say 'All men/women are always late'.

4. Minimizing or qualifying the positive: If someone says you did a good job, you respond by saying 'I could have done better'.

5. Jumping to conclusions: This one is pretty self explanatory. You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that really support your conclusion. 'My boss didn't say Hi this morning, I'm in big trouble.' 'My girlfriend isn't home, she's cheating on me.'

6. Mind reading: Couples are often guilty of this, if he/she loved me they would know what I want.5B4 You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting in a negative way to you and don't bother to check it out. 'I know what you're thinking.'

7. Should and must statements: These are shame generators. "Musts" and "oughts" are also offenders. This can be the product of inflexible and rigid thinking. 'I must not let them see me cry.' 'I should have been there'. The emotional consequence of failure to adhere to the rule is shame and guilt. When you direct should statements toward others, you are setting up unrealistic expectations and if they don't behave they way they 'should' anger and resentment result.

9. Emotional Reasoning: While your feelings are valid, and they are your own, they do not necessarily reflect fact. Being frustrated at not being able to accomplish a task does not mean your are dumb. Feeling hopelessness does not mean you are hopeless.

10. Personalization: You see yourself as the cause of some negative event for which, in fact, you were not really responsible. Your loan application is not approved; it does not mean the loan officer had it in for you. Your daughter does not get asked to the prom does not mean you are a poor mother.

While all of us may be guilty of some of these mindsets, the danger is when they become a persistent view of your self, others and the world around you.

Tell4A7 your story! Pick up tips and tricks to help in addiction recovery and enhance your life free of addictions. Join our growing community. The author, Bill Urell MA.CAAP-II, is an addictions therapist at a leading drug treatment center. He teaches healthy life styles and life skills. Visit: http://AddictionRecoveryBasics.com

How To Help People Think Better - The Nitty Gritty of Listening

You know how to listen. You do it every day. In fact, you spend a good portion of the time you're interacting with others in listening. You're good at it.

And, we find that leaders who are remarkable listeners are always looking to expand their listening skills. So let's really make a study of listening today; let's take a look at the nitty gritty.

Helping people to think more deeply is the highest purpose, the best reason, for a leader to listen more deeply. When people think more deeply, when they make their own connections, they get a jolt of energy, and they're inspired to action. David Rock in his book Quiet Leadership (Appeared, 2006) describes the neuroscience of the process of coming to one's own insight. Then he says,

When people make deep, new connections in their own mind, there is a tangible release of energy, a discernable "aha" moment that fills us with a desire to take action. On a physical level, this aha moment releases chemicals in the body to prime it for movement. The energy created by insight is an important energy source to be harnessed. In the workplace there are many drains on our energy, including restrictions, policies, politics, long hours, and hundreds of emails every day. We should be harnessing every possible energy source that might inspire better performance. Letting people come up with their own ideas is a deep well of motivation to tap. (pp.39-40)

We have found that people get excited, become more conscious, and solve their own problems when their leaders and colleagues employ the skill of listening for. When you are listening for my potential, my strengths, or my skills mastery, I can sense that and I respond to it. When you're listening for what's important to me, for my goals, for what I value, for what I believe is possible or not possible, you help me become more conscious of these myself. When you're listening for how I feel about the subject I'm discussing - whether my energy is high or low, whether I'm excited or worried - I know I am truly heard. When you're listening for the real issue, maybe the question behind my question, then you help me to see so much more. When you're listening for what I'm not saying but is clearly present, then you give me permission to bring it out.

So how do you do it, this listening deeply and listening for? Here are some of the nitty gritty techniques:

Say less than you think you need to. Give lots of time for the person to think or to frame what they're saying. Resist the urge to jump in.

Summarize, paraphrase, and mirror back what you're hearing to be sure you understand clearly and to give the person a chance to hear what he or she is thinking.

As you reflect what you're hearing, use their language. It will have more of an impact. As you reflect, use language that indicates "I heard" rather than "You said."

Notice the difference between the person's words, tone of voice, and body language.

Practice setting aside your own judgments of what you're hearing.

And finally, just practice hearing some of what we've already mentioned: potential, goals, values, strengths, mastery, possibility, point of view, feelings, what's underneath.

Now let's look at an example. Your employee, Bob, comes to you and says, "Sandy is alienating everyone around her." For many, the automatic response is to look for a solution. The leader who is listening for starts by asking for more information and listening for what's important to the speaker.

As you listen, you reflect what you're hearing, giving Bob the chance to become more aware of the elements of the situation and what's really going on. You use language that tells Bob what you've heard. You listen for possibility, for Bob's strengths and for Sandy's. You listen for how Bob is thinking about the situation and what he may not be saying about it. And you assume Bob's competence in being able to solve his problem.

As you reflect what Bob is saying, he begins to see possibility, too. Now may be a good time to ask Bob what he'd like to see and how he'd like to move forward. You continue to see him as competent and creative. In this collaborative conversation, Bob feels heard, and he taps into his own resourcefulness. Your deep listening allows Bob to harness his own energy and to solve his own problem, to become a leader in this situation.

We have all experienced the power of being truly heard. It is one of the highest gifts we receive in this life. In the business world, it encourages deeper thinking, energized action, and greater connection to the work at hand. And it invokes the leader in everyone.

Jennifer Sellers is the Chief Energy Officer of Inspired Mastery, a leadership development company that helps people see inside their own blind spots to become powerful communicators, powerful leaders, and powerful in their lives. She is a Professional Certified Coach through the International Coach Federation. Her background includes teen and adult education, project management under contract to NASA, a year as a ski bum in Telluride, Colorado , and 5 years as a coach, facilitator, and speaker. She has practiced Zen meditation for almost 20 years and is passionate about tapping the highest potential in each of us. http://www.inspiredmastery.com

Your Words And Thoughts Have Power

Even though they might seem relatively innocuous, our words and thoughts do, indeed, have a lot of power and in fact determine what our own reality is.

We are not the first to recognize this fact. In fact, wise people throughout the ages have seen just how prevalent this is. For example, William Blake, the poet, said, "We become what we behold." The Buddha himself said, "With our thoughts we make our world." These are just two of the wise minds that have seen this process evidence in action.

What words to use, then, that can create this kind of power?

Let's take the often used phrase, "Yes, but." In effect, what you are doing is trying to overcome someone else's opinion by suppressing it. In effect, what you have just done is completely discounted their opinion with the word "but." If you are someone who5B3 does this often (or even occasionally), it really blocks you from being able to communicate effectively with other people, and is also not particularly fair to that person. If you would not use this, you could simply acknowledge the other person's point of view and send the message that although you might not agree with the other person's point of view, you still allow the other person his or her full power. In other words, you don't want to disempower anyone else even if you disagree with his or her idea.

You can overcome this by saying, "Yes, and" instead of, "Yes, but." The word "and" is inclusive, and allows for both opinions to be present and equally valid. It also allows for much more open communication to flow, instead of blocking it.

Your self-talk, too, can be either and powering or disempowering. For example, do you say to yourself a lot of the time that you "must" or "have to" do something? This indicates that you think you have no choice in the matter, when, of course, you do. This type of self-talk disempowers you. If you listen to others talk, you sometimes also can sense this feeling of disempowerment in them.

If you want to change this self talk so that you realize you have a choice in the matter and thus to empower yourself, first, keep track of how often you say the words "should" or "must." These usually instill feelings of guilt or obligation, and thus some this empowerment to a least some extent.5B2

Other more general words that also hinder communication are "never," "forever," and "always." First of all, it is rarely true that something is "always" or "never" true. There are almost always exceptions. Therefore, if you or someone else is using the words "never" or "always," you are generalizing and not truly handling the matter at hand in reality. For better communication, avoid this type of generalization when you speak with someone.

Another word it's usually good to avoid if you can is "try." Of course, if you don't know whether or not you can do something, then you are going to "try" to do something. You won't know whether you can are or not until you try something if you haven't attempted it before. However, for communication situations, it's usually best to avoid this word because if you say you are going to "try" to get a task done for someone, you are not committing yourself to it. Therefore, you should say you either can or cannot do it. By stating whether or not you can firmly, you commit yourself to an answer one way or the other.

The more careful you are with the words and phrases used, the better your communication can be. You'll find that just a little attention to these areas will greatly enhance your communications with others and may even transform your relationships in general. Watch and see what happens. You just might be amazed.

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.

Developing Your Imagination

So now you know how to "Practice the Pretend" (discussed in part one). Knowing how to practice 5B4the pretend is merely one piece of the puzzle to the first step in becoming a successful entrepreneur. Now you need to know what exactly it is that you need to imagine (the pretend part). You need to set some goals!

So what you do is this: Think about everything that you want in life (your goals) and write your want's down. There is a lot to this. Write down your financial goals (how much money you want to make per month, per year, or how much money you want saved in the next five years, etc...). Write down your personal goals (do you want to be married, have two kids, a dog, graduate college, go skydiving, etc...). Next write down your business goals (what kind of business do you want to own? how many businesses do you want? Do you want employees, and if so how many? Do you want investments, properties, or other business assets? Etc...). And, finally write down your personal asset goals (Do you want that yacht, that 70 inch television, a motorcycle, fancy cars, or a huge house on the lake, etc...).

Try to make these goals practical and within some reason. If your goal is to make One Billion dollars over the next six months; well that probably won't happen (unless you win the Lotto six times in a row, even then it is a stretch. Not recommended by the way). But now if your goal is to make One Million dollars over the next year and a half; Well that is doable. That is a more reasonable goal.

Now notice I say reasonable 5B4goal, and not realistic. The reason why I do not use the words "realistic goal" is because there is no such thing. What is realistic to you may not be realistic to me. If your idea of realistic is only making One Hundred Thousand dollars over the next year and a half; I am going to tell you to shoot higher. Find a new reality. If your goal is to make One Billion dollars over the next six months, I will tell you to aim high but maybe set the bar a tad bit lower. Like on Earth.

Now you have your goals written down, right! Good! What now? Well take your list of goals and make a copy. Now you have two lists. Now you click on my signature profile below and take a look at the article, "Think Success (part 3)" for the last installment of this series: Think Success!

Jeremy Alexander is a successful Entrepreneur and Instructor in the business of helping other entrepreneurs achieve their own personal and financial success. Whether at home working with his clients, or on the road speaking at conferences and classrooms; Jeremy is dedicated to the fundamental philosophy: "Success can not be earned without first creating success in others". To find out more about why Success is his passion checkout his website at http://www.secretsofwealthandprosperity.com or f379or some more tips on how to be successful checkout his free Blog at http://www.secretsofwealthandprosperity.com/MyBlog

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Journaling To Track Your Successes

Often times people will start out on projects or set goals and after sometime lose the sight of the end result. They get distracted or they just do not know where they actually started nor how far they have come. For this reason they have little idea of how far they have to go to reach the end result. Using a journal to track your successes in any project or goal can assist you in reaching your desired result. Even the experts in the fields of motivation and inspirational personal growth suggest using the writing down of your successes as a tool to keep you on track.

To write down your successes or accomplishmentsACD helps you to first of all recognize that you have successes. Sometimes when you go through your day, you do not realize that simple little things are in fact a success. This makes you more aware of the things that you do or say that take you one step closer to your desired result.

Writing down your successes creates milestones that you can look back on and see how far you really have come in your journey to your future. There are times when discouragement will get the best of us. However, with a road and markers to look back on it is easier to continue forward and with more enthusiasm than you would have had if you had not taken the time to write down the successes you had in your everyday life.

To write down your successes regularly also encourages habits of success. Once these habits are in place then you become more motivated to do more and be more in the realm of your day. In many cases people who take the time to write down their successes reach their end result and reach them quicker. This allows them to start new projects, have more goals, and dream much bigger than they thought they could.

Once you realized the value and the importance of writing down accomplishments a person can then celebrate their successes. Treat your self to something special when you complete the desire goals you have set. Cheer and applaud! It is amazing how great we feel when we get that kind of recognition for finishing what we start.

Where you have come from determines where you will go

Check out this valuable tool that can assist you in tracking your successes at http://www.365daysofsuccessesjournal.com

For more resources and to learn more about being the best you that you can be visit http://www.inpursuitofwealth.com

From Internet Entrepreneur and Writer Bonnie Holscher

Reality-Building 201 - What 3 Actions Can You Take Now to Be Successful?

Have you ever seen someone who constantly struggles? Not just financially, but emotionally, and sometimes physically. Nothing ever goes right in their life. Just ask them; they'll tell you.

If you could look inside this person's head, you'd probably see a mess of self-doubt and vague wishes. They might not even realize that this is the life they created, but if you could go back 6 to 12 months in the past and look at their thoughts, you would see that's exactly what they've done.

As a network marketer, there are many actions you must take to create the reality you choose. Most of these are not easy, but if you can make them into habits, your success as a network marketer is almost guaranteed.

One such action is thinking for yourself. Thinking for yourself means asking questions. Doing things the way you always did means you'll get the same results you've always gotten. Asking questions can signify a departure from old ways that no longer serve their purpose.

Without questioning, you become a robot. You do things just because others tell you to do them. You endure because others say you should. You don't ask yourself, "Is the pain worth the prize?" You never find out if there's a better way to accomplish your goals.

Thinking for yourself also means to always place experience over authority. Nobody, regardless of what they say, can claim to be the ultimate network marketing authority. This is not to say you shouldn't listen to your upline. If you hand out 1,000 flyers, however, and get one call back, don't you think you could spend that time more productively?

When you think for yourself, you must understand people. Your upline might be from a generation where it was OK to approach people in a parking lot to present your business. Maybe they were even successful doing it that way. They're not trying to mislead you, just to teach you the business the way they learned.

Thinking for yourself is not, by any means, the easiest way to do things, but it is always the best. Anyone can follow the crowd and obtain mediocre results. Leaders constantly question their actions, asking themselves if there might be a better way to do things.

We can choose our own thoughts. Regardless of what happens to us on the outside, we control what goes on in our minds. We can choose to be a drone and follow what everyone else is doing, or we can use our minds to break away from the pack and achieve our goals.

As network marketers, we must keep in mind that we are where we are today because of our thoughts. If you find yourself lacking today, go back and examine what your thoughts were yesterday, last month, 6 months ago. Your reality always corresponds with your thoughts.

Because of this, it's vitally important to think constructively. Successful network marketers don't waste time or energy focusing on what might go wrong. They seldom mull over unpleasant encounters, or hold grudges. They constantly ask themselves, "How can I make things better than they are right now?"

If you really want to create you own reality, it's extremely important to know what that reality consists of. What does success mean to you? How will you know when you're there? To know your outcome is one of the most important aspects of creating the life you choose.

This needs to be more than just a vague dream. Just wishing for a big house or a bunch of free time is not enough. A big house to you might not be a big house to Michael Jackson, and people in prison have lots of free time.

This is where goals come into play. Notice I didn't say wishes. Goals imply something needs to be done to achieve an end. Effective goals are specific, never open-ended. You need to have a vivid picture in your mind of where you are going. Without that, how can you get there, and how would you know if you did?

You accomplish goals by working backwards. Say you want $500,000.00 a year in residual income. Breaking that down, ask yourself how much you would need to make in 1 year. What would you need to be doing during that year to achieve that? What would you need to do for the next 6 months? 1 month?

What would you need to do today, right now, to achieve that goal? If you can remember to keep the end in sight, your smaller goals will be easier to accomplish. Never forget why you're prospecting.

The thoughts you think lead you to the actions you take. The actions you take regularly become habits. If you can develop enough constructive habits, no force in the world can stop you from achieving your dreams.

Gregory McGuire is a successful network marketer living in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

"Stop wasting time on old school network marketing techniques--find out why 97% of mlmers never make any real money

Visit http://www.calling-my-own-shots.com/article01.html

Reach The Success You Truly Desire

Ever have those days where no matter what you try life seems to be a series of one step forward and two steps back?

Well today is the very best day to take charge of your life and develop strategies to achieve personal success. You will need to work hard and make a commitment to your personal success plan, but once you break the inertia you will find that small achievements will help you gain momentum, and each step forward will attract more success.

1. Take a look at the one and only person responsible for your success- YOU. To be successful you must take complete responsibility for your actions. You can't pin your success or your shortcomings on anyone else.

2. Develop and nurture a successful self- Start by smiling more, look to the positive side in everything. Don't list all the reasons why something is hard and you can't do it, find the reasons even if it is only one to start with of why you can do something. You must develop a successful persona to become a successful person.

3. Make the decision today- Decide today that you will be successful. Praise yourself for past accomplishments, take stock of your strong qualities and work to nurture and improve those that are underdeveloped. You have a purpose and a mission you must sweep aside the negative clutter and defi5B4ne this purpose and begin today to fulfill yourself.

4. Always begin with the positive- every morning you wake up, every time you speak with other people. Always stick with the positive. Associate with positive people. People who have also made the commitment to success. Avoid negative people at all costs. They will not only drag you down. Their negative actions and thoughts, their pessimism, whining, and complaining is a toxin and you need to steer clear of it.

5. Visualize and write down how you desire to live successfully- think of the things that are meaningful to you. Things that give you pleasure, comfort, and fulfillment. Then being as specific as possible write down how you want to live. Don't listen to any of the negative, just concentrate. Write down every detail, where you live, what your house is like down to the decor. What you and your friends are passionate about, what kinds of community projects do you donate your time and money to. After writing everything down copy the most vivid and important things into a new journal. One you have chosen just for this. Make the journal come to life with drawings, photographs, magazine clippings, articles, and poetry. Images and words that will help your vision of a successful life crystallize in your mind. Look through this journal several times a week. Every day visualizing living that life. Make all of your actions in accordance with that successful life.

6. Defin4Fe what success means to you- Concentrate on what you are best at and what bring588s you satisfaction and fulfillment. Using your vision of how you want to live, write down and then read out loud what success means to you. Otherwise you won t know when you have achieved it.

7. Study and make the commitment- Read books and magazines about people who are successful in your eyes, and ways to become more successful. Develop a daily methodical systematic approach to reaching your goals and take one step towards your success.

Keep your mind in the moment don't let it wonder to negative discourse. Focus your attention on your vision of success. With a resolute attitude you are well on your way.

About The Author

BZ Riger-Hull. www.in-spiros.com For valuable free articles, assessments, & practical success tools mailto:A1@smartautoresponder.com Certified as a Success Coach, Four Agreements Facilitator, & Tele-Course leader We help you communicate powerfully, reduce stress, Strategically Attract success, & increase your financial well-being.

bz@in-spiros.com

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

The Power of Forgiveness

We live in a crazy, high demanding lifestyle and overly connected world, during our day to day rat race that we call our lives, we may step on a few toes, anger a few associates, upset a friend and maybe do something that makes most men sleep in the dog house that evening.

How many of us have been down that road?

When was the last time you thought about forgiving someone? Forgiveness is an important part of life, not only in the business world, but in our personal lives as well. When you forgive a colleague, associate or loved one for their wrong doings against you, it will really set you free. Many times especially in business someone does something to make you upset; it could be an employee, a client, a friend, business partner or just the courier guy. Can you imagine back to how you felt when those feelings were happening. Was your blood boiling? Did you notice your temperature going up? Did you lose your lose focus on what you are doing? Were the feelings of anger taking over and was that the only thing you could concentrate on.

Usually overtime, cooler heads prevail and you can begin to focus of your role, your job or the things that really matter in your life. Have you heard the old saying, write the letter but dont mail it, or draft up the email and put it in your drafts if it feels right in 24 hours then you can send it. However, if it doesnt and the feelings of frustration having surpassed, you can simply delete the message from your drafts, no harm, and no foul.

When you offer up forgiveness to the party that wronged you, or the employee that made the error that lost the big deal, or the client that left you and didnt have all the facts together, you begin the healing process of letting go.   Another area we fail to realize is important when it comes to forgiveness is to forgive those that should have done something but failed to do it. I am sure it has happened to you in the past when you were expecting a friend or a loved one to come to your aid or rescue and in your time of need and they simply failed to show up. You need to forgive those people in your life. Go ahead dump all that emotional garbage and forgive those people that who simply failed to show up in your time of need. We hold onto that for way to long.

The other over looked area of forgiveness, you need to learn to forgive yourself. How much personal pain are we carrying around? How many times do we fail to forgive ourselves? Small Business owners and people in general are their worst critics, this thinking really limits your abilities and most importantly what you can achieve. You must learn to forgive yourself for your own shortcomings and get on with what matters the most.

Forgiveness is a very powerful force in the universe, not being able to extend your forgiveness to others for what they have done to you, what they have failed to do and most important forgiving yourself will limit your growth both as a person and as a professional. Let go of the baggage that you have been hauling around and weighs you down! Get that monkey off your back and lighten up, focus to your success and you will succeed.

Stuart Crawford is the Director of Business Development for IT Matters Inc., Calgary, Albertas award winning Microsoft Small Business Specialist. He can be reached at scrawford@itmatters.ca or via their website http://www.itmatters.ca Stuart just released his second book for the Small Business IT industry entitled Do you have IT? Get it online today at http://www.doyouhaveitbook.com

John F