4 Steps to Being More Assertive

45 year old Judy revealed in an anger management class that she was constantly angry at her husband. When asked why, she revealed that her aged mother lives next door and she always felt conflicted whether to spend time with her husband or her mother after work.

She loved them both, but resented her husband's becoming demanding and upset when she spent needed time with her mother instead of being with him. Judy revealed that she dealt with the situation by ignoring her husband when he expressed displeasure - with disastrous results. These included constant bickering and tension in the home as well as emotional distance from each other.

How much better the outcome would have been had Judy used basic skills of assertive communication.

What is assertive communication?

It is a way to communicate to your family your rights, feelings and needs- but in a good way. It is a method of letting family members know where you stand on things and what your limits and boundaries are.

Assertive communication allows you to clarify communication and stand up for yourself without making things worse or getting a negative result or response from your loved ones.

Four Steps to Assertive Communication:

Step 1- Send clear messages

Turns out Judy had never clearly told her husband how she felt when he put pressure on her to spend time with him instead of her mother. When she did discuss it, she hemmed, hawed and stammered with almost no eye contact.

As a result her husband was not getting a clear message. To communicate clearly, look at your posture and your facial expressions, as well as your hand and arm movements. Pay special attention to your tone of voice which can say volumes beyond your words.

Step 2 - Learn how to listen

Assertive people have developed their listening skills. While hearing is done with your ears, true listening is done with your heart. To be a better communicator, start by becoming a better listener.

Step 3 - Start the conversation with "I feel" rather than "you should."

Words have tremendous power to determine how other people experience us, and how they respond to an issue.

For this reason, people with good assertive communication skills focus on the problem behavior (and not the character of the person), stick to the point, don't use labels, and make "I" statements rather than "you" statements.

Judy tried this with her husband and it worked very well. Here is what she said: "Honey, I love you and want to be with you, but I also need to be with my mother now. Could you get along without me for a hour a night? I'll try to always be back by 8:30 PM."

Step 4 - Acknowledge your part in the conflict or issue

Anger is often an escalating process, involving two people who create a negative feeling in each other, sometimes instantly and sometimes over a long period of time.

It is natural to blame another family member entirely for the problem, especially when we are angry or in a defensive mode.

But, once we return to normal, the assertive communicator is able to accept some of the responsibility for the conflict. This acceptance and acknowledgement of your contribution to the problem is an indication of emotional maturity and can create an entirely different atmosphere between conflicting family members.

Try saying the following things to promote communication:

- My reactions were too extreme. I'm sorry. - Even though I still feel I was right about the issue, my reaction wasn't right and I apologize. - I never thought of things that way. - Let me start again in a different way. - I can see my part in all this.

To Judy's delight, when she practiced saying some of these things to her husband in a loving way, he began changing too. Almost immediately, he became less demanding, more understanding, and more aligned with her so both of them could better care for her aging mother.

2005 Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved.

Dr. Tony Fiore (http://www.angercoach.com) is a So. California licensed psychologist, and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his free monthly newsletter "Taming The Anger Bee" at http://www.angercoach.com

Hlmenchen
Pablo Picasso

Guidance for New Alzheimer's Caregivers

Caring for a parent, spouse, sibling or other loved one with Alzheimers disease can be a rewarding experience that builds your inner strength and character. Caregivers usually assume the care giving role out of love and a desire to help a family member in need. The selfless act of care giving is widely respected and will certainly make you a stronger and more confident in your ability to make a positive difference in another persons life.

Usually, care giving begins with just helping out a family member, showing love and support by making his or her day a little easier. Alzheimers patients experience more severe symptoms with time, resulting in the need for increased care and supervision boardas time goes on. In time, the lifestyle associated with the caregiver role can sneak up on even the most active and driven caregiver. Though caring for a loved one with Alzheimers disease brings with it numerous rewards, it is not uncommon for caregivers to find themselves overwhelmed at times as they strive to establish a harmonious balance between their own needs and the needs of their loved one.

An Alzheimers caregiver can become so consumed with the demands of caring for a loved one while upholding other daily responsibilities that his or her own health becomes neglected. The symptoms often experienced by full time Alzheimers caregivers, such as guilt, anger, exhaustion and depression, are so consistent and debilitating that they are collectively being referred to by some medical professionals as caregiver syndrome. Some experts suggest that simply acknowledging oneself as a caregiver and identifying with the role can lead a person to better deal with the responsibilities associated with caretaking. Realizing that care giving is not unlike taking on a second job can put caregivers in the proper mindset to provide the best care for their loved one with Alzheimers and for themselves.

As the world becomes more aware of the long term effects of caring for a loved one with dementia, more resources are becoming available to help caregivers effectively manage the responsibilities. Support groups and training programs for Alzheimers caregivers offer guidance that can lead to less stress for caregivers and delay the need to move their loved ones into professional full-time care.

If you have recently taken on the responsibility of being the primary caretaker for a loved one with Alzheimers disease, it is important to remain in tune with your own needs and emotions. You may feel angry or exhausted at times due to the unpredictable nature of Alzheimers disease. Realize that such emotions are common among Alzheimers caregivers, release yourself of any guilt caused by them and move on. Do not neglect taking time for yourself once in a while to regroup and relax. If your loved one requires constant supervision, have another friend or relative take over caretaking duties or take advantage of respite care at a local Alzheimers care facility so that you may create time for yourself. Establishing a balance between tending to your innate needs and those of your loved one will make you a better, more effective caregiver and affect a more positive environment for everyone involved.

About the Author: John Trevey is the C.E.O. of Uncommon Care, an assisted living Austin Texas home specializing in Alzheimer's care. He is the manager of both The Barton House and the Breckinridge. For more information, please visit http://www.uncommoncare.com

Wayne Dyer Inner Wisdom
Wayne Dyer Intentions

4 Steps to Being More Assertive

45 year old Judy revealed in an anger management class that she was constantly angry at her husband. When asked why, she revealed that her aged mother lives next door and she always felt conflicted whether to spend time with her husband or her mother after work.

She loved them both, but resented her husband's becoming demanding and upset when she spent needed time with her mother instead of being with him. Judy revealed that she dealt with the situation by ignoring her husband when he expressed displeasure - with disastrous results. These included constant bickering and tension in the home as well as emotional distance from each other.

How much better the outcome would have been had Judy used basic skills of assertive communication.

What is assertive communication?

It is a way to communicate to your family your rights, feelings and needs- but in a good way. It is a method of letting family members know where you stand on things and what your limits and boundaries are.

Assertive communication allows you to clarify communication and stand up for yourself without making things worse or getting a negative result or response from your loved ones.

Four Steps to Assertive Communication:

Step 1- Send clear messages

Turns out Judy had never clearly told her husband how she felt when he put pressure on her to spend time with him instead of her mother. When she did discuss it, she hemmed, hawed and stammered with almost no eye contact.

As a result her husband was not getting a clear message. To communicate clearly, look at your posture and your facial expressions, as well as your hand and arm movements. Pay special attention to your tone of voice which can say volumes beyond your words.

Step 2 - Learn how to listen

Assertive people have developed their listening skills. While hearing is done with your ears, true listening is done with your heart. To be a better communicator, start by becoming a better listener.

Step 3 - Start the conversation with "I feel" rather than "you should."

Words have tremendous power to determine how other people experience us, and how they respond to an issue.

For this reason, people with good assertive communication skills focus on the problem behavior (and not the character of the person), stick to the point, don't use labels, and make "I" statements rather than "you" statements.

Judy tried this with her husband and it worked very well. Here is what she said: "Honey, I love you and want to be with you, but I also need to be with my mother now. Could you get along without me for a hour a night? I'll try to always be back by 8:30 PM."

Step 4 - Acknowledge your part in the conflict or issue

Anger is often an escalating process, involving two people who create a negative feeling in each other, sometimes instantly and sometimes over a long period of time.

It is natural to blame another family member entirely for the problem, especially when we are angry or in a defensive mode.

But, once we return to normal, the assertive communicator is able to accept some of the responsibility for the conflict. This acceptance and acknowledgement of your contribution to the problem is an indication of emotional maturity and can create an entirely different atmosphere between conflicting family members.

Try saying the following things to promote communication:

- My reactions were too extreme. I'm sorry. - Even though I still feel I was right about the issue, my reaction wasn't right and I apologize. - I never thought of things that way. - Let me start again in a different way. - I can see my part in all this.

To Judy's delight, when she practiced saying some of these things to her husband in a loving way, he began changing too. Almost immediately, he became less demanding, more understanding, and more aligned with her so both of them could better care for her aging mother.

2005 Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved.

Dr. Tony Fiore (http://www.angercoach.com) is a So. California licensed psychologist, and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his free monthly newsletter "Taming The Anger Bee" at http://www.angercoach.com

Thomas Jefferson

Guidance for New Alzheimer's Caregivers

Caring for a parent, spouse, sibling or other loved one with Alzheimers disease can be a rewarding experience that builds your inner strength and character. Caregivers usually assume the care giving role out of love and a desire to help a family member in need. The selfless act of care giving is widely respected and will certainly make you a stronger and more confident in your ability to make a positive difference in another persons life.

Usually, care giving begins with just helping out a family member, showing love and support by making his or her day a little easier. Alzheimers patients experience more severe symptoms with time, resulting in the need for increased care and supervision boardas time goes on. In time, the lifestyle associated with the caregiver role can sneak up on even the most active and driven caregiver. Though caring for a loved one with Alzheimers disease brings with it numerous rewards, it is not uncommon for caregivers to find themselves overwhelmed at times as they strive to establish a harmonious balance between their own needs and the needs of their loved one.

An Alzheimers caregiver can become so consumed with the demands of caring for a loved one while upholding other daily responsibilities that his or her own health becomes neglected. The symptoms often experienced by full time Alzheimers caregivers, such as guilt, anger, exhaustion and depression, are so consistent and debilitating that they are collectively being referred to by some medical professionals as caregiver syndrome. Some experts suggest that simply acknowledging oneself as a caregiver and identifying with the role can lead a person to better deal with the responsibilities associated with caretaking. Realizing that care giving is not unlike taking on a second job can put caregivers in the proper mindset to provide the best care for their loved one with Alzheimers and for themselves.

As the world becomes more aware of the long term effects of caring for a loved one with dementia, more resources are becoming available to help caregivers effectively manage the responsibilities. Support groups and training programs for Alzheimers caregivers offer guidance that can lead to less stress for caregivers and delay the need to move their loved ones into professional full-time care.

If you have recently taken on the responsibility of being the primary caretaker for a loved one with Alzheimers disease, it is important to remain in tune with your own needs and emotions. You may feel angry or exhausted at times due to the unpredictable nature of Alzheimers disease. Realize that such emotions are common among Alzheimers caregivers, release yourself of any guilt caused by them and move on. Do not neglect taking time for yourself once in a while to regroup and relax. If your loved one requires constant supervision, have another friend or relative take over caretaking duties or take advantage of respite care at a local Alzheimers care facility so that you may create time for yourself. Establishing a balance between tending to your innate needs and those of your loved one will make you a better, more effective caregiver and affect a more positive environment for everyone involved.

About the Author: John Trevey is the C.E.O. of Uncommon Care, an assisted living Austin Texas home specializing in Alzheimer's care. He is the manager of both The Barton House and the Breckinridge. For more information, please visit http://www.uncommoncare.com

Secretequation

Pets, People and Toys, Oh My!

First pet food, then people food and toys; whats next? You have to love globalization and all of its wonderful ramifications. Actually, when I first heard of globalization I thought it was a wonderful concept. The idea that trade barriers between nations would disappear opening the doors to an infinite array of goods from other cultures and nations appeared exciting. In the absence of high tariffs exotic products from around the world would be at our fingertips.

What got lost in the translation? I guess others had an entirely different view of globalization in mind. To the corporations, it meant being able to hire children and adults for pennies a day in order to make their goods. Without high taxes and in the absence of foreign environmental and labor laws, companies could now produce products for little cost abroad and get them back here cheaply. Rather than importing foreign products, we began to import our own products to the detriment of domestic labor.

Of course, not only did it hurt U.S. workers, it opened the door to massive abuse of labor abroad. Hungry for good jobs , foreign governments courted American producers at the expense of their own people. And, now, as we all know, the majority of products that we buy are made in China or other Asian and Latin American countries. To keep costs low these nations have few laws protecting their workers and little in the way of environmental rules or product safety standards. We all know the old adage; what goes around, comes around. So here we are, dead pets, poison in our foods and now lead in our childrens toys.

Of course, these are only the things that have been discovered-to date. What other product safety issues are lurking in our future? What else are we using or consuming that may harm our future generations? Isnt time to say enough? As a product of the 60s and 70s I was hooked on the small is beautiful concept. Local produce, local good jobs , local supplies of energy and local cultures all interacting to create a wonderful whole was very appealing. We need to return to this concept.

Energy issues must be addressed regionally and even locally. In some places the answer may be hydro, or wind or solar while others may see biomass or other alternatives. Those that can work everywhere can be shared but solutions cannot all be universal. Even from an energy safety perspective, differing systems are easier to protect than one large grid. This also holds for food production. The conscious effort to destroy the family farm was the worst decision to ever hit our agricultural system. I want beans and carrots from Maine, not Mexico-no offense intended. Corporate farming is a bust. The food supply is too concentrated in the hands of the few. Further, if bad weather or disease strikes these corporate farms, our food supplies are gone. Local food means a safer supply and one that can be closely monitored. Who knows what has been put on peppers from Latin America or put into beef from Argentina?

Look at the recent snafu in the housing market. Why should a credit squeeze in the U.S. send Asian stocks tumbling? We know the answer and the answer highlights the problem. Who wants their mortgage held by a bank in Hong Kong? Why are we permitting stock market s to merge? Why are we allowing the continued concentration of wealth and power in the hands of the few?

We need a new concept of globalization. It should come to mean a world that shares ideas, cultures, information and solutions. Globalization must bring people together to find common solutions to common problems and not the continued exploitation of the many by the few. A small is beautiful concept with a global perspective is the only way we will get through these troubled times. It is time to wake up people. If we do not approach the coming changes with a renewed sense of cooperation instead of competition, we will get what we deserve.

Mr. Harris was born in Massachusetts. He attended The American University in Washington, D.C. and received his degree in Political Science. His graduate work was done at the University of Northern Colorado and Howard University. While in D.C., he spent several years working for local and regional government agencies. Upon moving to Maine he worked with three governors and served as the Assistant Director of the Maine State Planning Office. He worked on a White House Task Force for the development of a National Rural Policy and later served as Rural Policy Coordinator at the Federal Regional Council of New England. He has worked on gubernatorial and senatorial political campaigns and currently works in Special Education.

Mr. Harris is co-author of the novel WAKING GOD and is a nationally syndicated / featured writer for The American Chronicle. He is working on Book II of the Waking God trilogy. His second novel, A MAINE CHRISTMAS CAROL was released by Cambridge Books, his third book, JESUS TAUGHT IT, TOO: THE EARLY ROOTS OF THE LAW OF ATTRACTION was released by Avatar Publication.

Secretequation

Herb Filled Pillows Make Over a Million Dollars

Lauren Rosenstadt was a single mom working at a herb
company in Bethesda, Maryland. A herb (pronounced "erb") is
a plant that has medicinal, savory, or aromic qualities. One
day while at lunch with a friend whose daughter suffered
from insomnia, Lauren thought, "If I could fill a pillow
with herbs, that would be soothing and help my friend's
daughter sleep."

A few days later, Sydney Greensheep, a pillow shaped like
a sheep and filled with dried herbs, was completed. Lauren
gave Sydney to her friend to try with her daughter. The
next morning her friend reported, "It's unbelievable, she
slept like a baby!"

Insomnia is epidemic in our fast-pased American lifestyle.
40-50% of Americans complain of occasional bouts with
insomnia. 10-15 percent of the US population suffers from
chronic insomnia. Every year, as many as 10 million
Americans seek a physician's help for sleep disorders. As
many as 10,000 automobile accident deaths each year are the
result of someone falling asleep at the wheel.

Lauren showed Sydney to her boss, who was impressed enough
to provide her with space in the company's booth at a trade
show. Many trade show visitors liked the herb stuffed
pillow idea, and by the end of the show, Lauren had orders
for over 100 pillows.

Lauren hired a seamstress to sew the sheep-shaped pillows.
Then, she stuffed them herself. The trade show buyers put
the pillows on display in their shops, and within days they
all sold for between $18.00 and $22.00 each.

Encouraged by these results, Lauren sent samples to
department stores and specialty shops. Orders started
rolling in. To sew the pillows, she enlisted small home
business sewers. It was hard work to deliver bolts of
fabric and 40 pound bags of filling to their homes. Within
the first year, she grossed over half a million dollars.

Now, Lauren's Herbal Animals can be found in over 750 body
care, gift and natural living shops worldwide. Lauren's
company employs 13 people and has revenue of over a million
dollars a year.

It's interesting to note that Lauren Rosenstadt didn't
start out as a hobby seamstress or craft person. She was a
person who used her insight to help a friend confort her
daughter. After recognizing an opportunity, Lauren didn't
let up. She did the thinking and the work necessary to
achieve success.

Visit Lauren's website www.herbal-animals.com

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Chinese Zodiac Animal Signs

Six Ways For Kids To Make Money

Most of us know the usual ways for kids to make money, which include lemonade stands, newspaper routes and mowing lawns. However, there are more unusual ways. Some of the ways listed below are from my own childhood, when I was always looking for another way to make money.

1. Be a chef. At about eleven years old, I used to sell meals to my brothers (I had four of them). I got 25 cents for scrambled eggs or a sandwich, and more for more complicated meals. My brothers preferred to stay in front of the TV and let me cook for them. Since the food was already provided by my parents, the income was pure profit.

2. Computer whiz-kid service. Many young kids know a lot about computers. My nephew was getting paid for programming by the the time he was fourteen, but even younger kids can show old folks how to use a computer and the internet for a fee. Learn a few more skills, and they can even set up computers for new owners who are using them for the first time. Letting grandparents spread the word would be a good marketing ploy.

3. Household carnival. I charged my brothers five cents for a wadded up piece of paper selected from a bucket full of them. Most had a penny or two inside them, but a few had a quarter. It was just one of my "carnival" events. I also had them throwing pennies at a bowl across the room, which I kept, of course. If a penny stayed in the bowl they won a dime. I'm almost embarrassed to say how much of their hard-earned paper route money I took from them.

4. Collect returnables. We collected and returned cans and bottles for a deposit as kids. Now that more states have return laws, it's an even better way to make a little cash. During the Cherry Festival, when I lived in Traverse City, Michigan, adults came to town just to collect the cans that people threw all over. With a 10 cent deposit, they were collecting more than $100 worth per day according to several of them. If the kids wear gloves, leave broken cans and bottles alone, and use hand sanitizer, this is a safe way to make money.

5. Personal services menu. If there are many people in the family, a great way for kids to make money is to sell their services. They can make a menu of things they'll do and how much they charge for each. It might include washing windows for 50 cents each, for example, and maybe $1.50 to walk a dog. If the list is copied, it could be handed out to all relatives and possibly neighbors too.

6. Rummage sales and flea markets. If parents agree, kids can have rummage sales, selling not just household things, but arts and crafts and refreshments too. Parents might even take their kids to a flea market to set up a stand. I sold (as an adult) more than $1,000 of hand-made walking sticks one summer, while my wife sold hundreds of dollars worth in pewter figurines glued to rocks, sea shells and crystals. Cookies and drinks sell well too. It's a great way to learn about business, and a good way for kids to make money.

Steve Gillman has been studying money for thirty years (and sometimes making a little). For interesting and useful information, visit his website, Unusual Ways To Make Money: http://www.UnusualWaysToMakeMoney.com

Louis Braille

If You Can't Beat 'em, Join 'em

HR Professionals have historically viewed training as a worthwhile investment in one of their most important resources - their human resources. Training methods and theories have evolved but the return on this investment has been demonstrated time and time again. Successful organizations understand that an investment in their people is a proven strategy used to build and maintain a competitive organization.

Integrating Global Diversity
As businesses continue to invest overseas, more and more Human Resource professionals are integrating global diversity training into their HR strategies. HR professionals are aware that to compete in todays global economy, a "culturally competent" staff is no longer a "nice to have," - it's a "need to have."

Without a "culturally competent" staff, communications will be unclear, daily decision-making will be in jeopardy and project executions will be put at risk of failing.

Like most skills, whether it is staff management, effective negotiations or technology skills, intercultural skills come more naturally to some employees than others. Cultural competence is quite different than traditional business skills. Based on "people skills," it requires an understanding, empathy and open-minded approach to everything from religion, morals and tolerance to fashion, food and art. These are personal beliefs, not business behaviors. But in reality, these personal beliefs are the actual elements that dictate the behaviors of people working together in a business environment.

Multiple Cultural Influences
Many years ago, it was primarily the organization's corporate culture that would drive employee's behavior. The corporate culture, which could be influenced by top management, combined with personal values, offered enough complexity that relationship-based training courses were conducted. Today, there's an added level of complexity. As companies are now working with people from other countries, some of the basic "rules of behavior" and "acceptable norms" are no longer acceptable.

To add to the complexity, consider the multicultural staff that is now working together in the home office. Until recently, the expectation has been that the foreign staff would simply have to adapt to their new office culture. That may still be the case but as the number of foreign employees increase, their culture will have more influence on the organization. Their country's cultural norms and their personal views will impact the organization and eventually be integrated into the corporate culture.

During any day to day communication, any given cultural exchange, all of these factors will mesh and create a completely new and unique cultural situation. The goal is to mesh those cultural exchanges into a smooth set of cultural communications and nurture them into a globally competitive organization.

"The Only World They Know"
One of the primary goals of intercultural training is helping the staff to behave more sensitively to a different cultural environment. A person with little to no experience working outside of their own culture will begin their journey in "Denial." It will be quite difficult for them to even see a difference and understand why the people around them are behaving differently than they are accustomed to. Basically "their world is the only world they know." They are likely to ignore the differences and continue to work the way they always have.

After a while, this individual will begin to recognize the cultural differences but will act "defensively," and still feel that their cultural norms take precedence. They will see the differences but react to them negatively. "Minimization" is the next stage, where they will place less importance on the differences. Theyll begin to justify the cultural differences as very minor indeed and downplay their importance.

At this stage, their inability to recognize cultural differences and their attitude of superiority may lead to combativeness. This behavior can damage interpersonal relationships and valuable international partnerships. Their ineffective communication and leadership styles may be disruptive to the global team. With so much emphasis on non-conformity, they will begin to project their own cultural values, norms, and beliefs onto others. This could have has a trickle down effect on their subordinates, which would cause multiple levels of cultural confusion and a lack of effectiveness.

These behaviors may also prevent the managers from using global diversity to their advantage, as a way to achieve their objectives. A Westerner for example, may not take advantage of the power of teamwork that is more prevalent in Eastern societies. Or, may use a goal-oriented management approach with a subordinate who is accustomed to a very direct approach.

"If You Can't Beat 'em, Join 'em."
The HR Professional's goal will be to help the employee move into a less centric world view and evolve into more global mindset, which will help them understand that cultures may be different but they are equally sophisticated. The employee will start to think about how they can understand and work better within the culture. They will start to say to themselves, "If you can't beat 'em, join em."

The next stage is to help them get out of their comfort zone. The HR Professional needs to help the employee put aside many of "Management 101" principles they learned earlier in their careers and starting thinking differently. They will need to learn how to shift their mode of thinking and established code of behaviors in order to be more effective.

The ultimate goal for the employee is pure integration. This is where the employee understands the norms and cultural differences of their new environment, is able to recall and behave with different frames of reference at any given time and has the ability to switch cultural perspectives freely. They are able to maintain their own sense of self identity yet still merge the various cultural influences, whether it's their own environment or a different geographic location. They are also able to integrate the corporate culture with their own personal beliefs. True integration is the ability to adapt to the unique cultural mix of the moment while preserving their own sense of values and beliefs.

Like other formal training programs, organizations that actively invest in intercultural competence will be more effective, drive higher performance and gain a competitive advantage.

Chris Draeger, Group Vice President, Crown Relocations

Crown Relocations has been providing international moving and relocation services since 1965. With 200 offices in 50 countries, Crown has "people on the ground" in all the major Expat communities around the world. Crown provides a range of services to help Expats and their families move and settle into their new home ranging from Orientation Tours, Home finding, School Search and more. Crown also organizes Expat Clubs with regular events to help people meet and socialize with other Expats.

We also serve corporate clients as they develop and manage the relocation policies and employee benefit programs for the staff moving overseas. Services include expense management, program development, policy counseling, customized online reporting and full departure and destination services for the employees.

Crown is a private organization headquartered in Hong Kong, with European HQ in London and Americas HQ in Los Angeles California.

Crown provides free moving quotations on its website at http://www.crownrelo.com

Secretequation

Creativity And You

95 percent of what we know about the brain, we have learned in the last 20 years. So, your beliefs about creativity were probably shaped by faulty information.

For instance, many believe that only special, talented people are creative and you have to be born that way.

Wrong.

The notion that geniuses such as Shakespeare, Picasso and Mozart were `gifted' is a myth, according to a recent study at Exeter University. Researchers examined outstanding performances in the arts, mathematics and sports, to find out if the widespread belief that to reach high levels of ability a person must possess an innate potential called talent.

This particular study concludes that excellence is determined by five key elements:

• opportunities


• encouragement


• training


• motivation


• practice (this one, most of all)

The research also indicates that few showed early signs of promise prior to parental encouragement, and no one reached high levels of achievement in their field without devoting thousands of hours of serious training. Consider Mozart who trained for 16 years before he produced an cknowledged masterwork.

Let me tell you a few more interesting facts about creativity:

- Research shows that everyone has creative abilities. The more training you have and the more diverse the training,the greater is your potential for creative output.

- Additionally, it has been shown that in creativity quantity equals quality. In fact, the longer the list of ideas, the higher the quality of the final solution. Typically, the highest quality ideas appear at the end of the list.

- The average adult thinks of three to six alternatives for any given situation. The average child thinks of 60.

- Creativity is an individual process. Traditional brainstorming has been proven ineffective because of fear of social disapproval.

- Groups are best for idea selection rather than idea generation.

All of this is interesting and enlightening but doesnt necessarily get to the root of the issue of creativity. I think there is one element even more important than the five mentioned above. Let me tell you a true story to illustrate what I think the prime factor in creativity is.

A New York publisher was concerned about the lack of creativity among his editorial and marketing staff. He hired psychologists to try to determine what differentiated the creative employees from the others. After a year of study, the psychologists discovered that there was only one difference between creative and non-creative employees: belief in their creativity. Creative employees believed they were creative, and the non-creative ones believed they were not.

So, you are creative, I guarantee it. All you have to do is believe me. Is that too much to ask?

Harry Hoover is a partner in My Creative Team. He has 30 years of experience in crafting and delivering bottom line messages that ensure success for serious businesses like Bank of Commerce, The Bray Law Firm, Brent Dees Financial Planning, CruisingTheICW.com, Duke Energy, Focus Four, Levolor, North Carolina Tourism, TeamHeidi, Ty Boyd Executive Learning Systems, VELUX, and Verbatim.

Building Your Home

Hurricane Katrina - Why?

"The Katrina Blues"

Ive been watching the news
Humming and moaning the Katrina Blues
Watching news crews snooze
Trying me, Lying to me
Ignoring human suffering
A man said Im going out of my head, my wife is dead
And you didnt so much as offer him Bufferin
As her hand slipped from his
She told him You cant save me
Just take care of the kids
And I cried with him
I cried for him
I could only touch my TV screen
But I could still feel him
I screamed Hell Yeah
When I heard Kanye rant about the media slant
On how white people were finding food to survive
While black people were looting
And I prayed Lord please dont let them start shooting
Save the babies, feed the children, love and protect the woman
Why would you rape her?
Sisters barely holding on
She didnt offer, so you take her against her will
Whats really real?
Is this the final hour?
AmeriKKKa back up off that claim of being a super power
As I viewed the devastation, I was led into meditation
Could this be Gods will to change the complexion of a Nation
From lily white to whats really right
From haves and have-nots to givers and get-a-lots
In this so-called melting pot
Watching bodies rot
Because schemers, excuse me, because FEMA
Was late with a food and water drop
I believe if there was a way for them to leave
They would have left, now theres nothing left
Im just like them living check to check
Only difference is Im not actually wading in water
Up to my neck
Even with advance warning, Im still mourning
For family, not even blood related
Whos at fault will be debated
Back and forth across the color line
Now this concept is heavy
Could it be the muddy waters of your mind
Broke through your spiritual levee a long time ago?
How else can you explain being so slow to react?
Damn near every so-called refugee on my TV was black
So has it really come down to that?
So you gave weekend warriors marching orders
To come through the French Quarter
To shoot to kill
How about they recoup to heal?
Carry food for meals
New Orleans is below sea level
But I see devils in high places
I saw men, woman and children staring into cameras
With no hope in their faces
Bus after bus taking them to unknown places
Like slaves being taken to new plantations
When theres no more room at the inn
What then?
Just sit and rot on that hot bus
While they discuss this influx of so-called refugees
I believe youd be less likely to procrastinate
If so many people in need
Didnt happen to look just like me
Now its really hit the fan
The levee broke
And all I could say is damn!

Christopher "Poetry Man" Fields

Born on September 11th, his given name is Christopher L. Fields. Tapping into the ambient energy of verbal expression; he assumed his true identity of The Poetry Man.

His style is a hybrid of the Church, the Classroom, and the Corner. Equally comfortable in the basement or the penthouse, he bends words to penetrate and overcome all barriers to effective communication.

A native of Ohio, he now resides in the DC Metropolitan Area; where he addresses contemporary issues with an old soul, and a profound understanding of self that engages the listener to the point of being entranced. In terms of subject matter, he can go from one end of the spectrum to other in the blink of an eye. The Poetry Man does not recite his work; he lives, breathes, and bleeds Poetry. His very soul is manifest each time he delivers the word.

Louis B

Child Development - Children and the Benefits of Angels

Angels in art and meditation are an alternative and spiritual healing therapy for child development.

As more and more alternative and spiritual healings are being studied and documented they are finding that all forms of upliftment heals the body, mind and spirit. Angelic art falls within this category by uplifting the spirit. I do not claim Angel paintings create physical healings. Angel paintings soothe the emotions and create a more peaceful atmosphere helping today's society deal with the stressful world we now find ourselves in on a day to day basis.

Angel paintings are unique. They are a form of healing art. Angelic art uplifts, motivates, comforts, soothes and inspires. Each painting holds it's own inspirational energy and you do not have to be a " Believer" for this to work. These paintings work on a deep emotional level, clearing, releasing and comforting the emotions and melting the stress of the day away. Inspiring within each individual that gazes upon them their own God like image and this is how the healing takes place. A place of beauty and perfection is remembered by the Soul." Divine energy is at work assisting alternative and spiritual healing through Angel therapy in the form of fine art.

My Angel paintings for example are personal, Angels by Sharae, whether it be in one of my collection series or for a specific individual or relationship or group. Upon completion of each painting, I know that it is indeed meant for someone and their heart and soul will instantly know and respond to the Angel and the energy before them in the painting. My Angel art is a gift, given to and through my talent by Divine Angels guidance instructed to them by a much Higher Source. The Angels oversee and instruct every brushstroke and detail of paint color and every brushstroke within each painting ... they truly know "Who" the painting is for and the message it portrays. You can read more about how the paintings are created on my Sharae's Studio page. These paintings are truly a "Living" source of Divine Energy. I have witnessed some pretty amazing emotional releasements, and reactions when people have gazed upon them and truly responded with their soul !

Each day, more and more documented proof is coming through from the medical fields proving that Art and Music are truly a recognized healing tool to be used by everyone. Whether it be in participation, gazing upon or listening ... Art heals. This has always been known in the Alternative and Holistic medicines, but now is being used more and more in the traditional medicines opening up a whole new train of thought causing many, many positive results benefiting all. I look forward to it becoming an everyday occurrence ... just as a standard prescription is used.

'Healing With The Angels', by Doreen Virtue who also authored Angel Therapy, " teaches esoteric and practical methods that help you work with your Angels in healing your relationship, family and body issues." Angel or Angelic art is an extension of this therapy.

Indigo and Crystal Children and the elderly respond to the Angel Paintings with a knowingness of love and illumination that comes from within them. Sometimes the reactions have been as though they are recognizing an old friend.

Children respond to Angels. I have spent many an hour introducing children to their Guardian Angels through guided visualization meditations. These meditations are a great way for children to have fun and to feel safe as never before when they actually know their own Angel. Angel paintings work in the same way when hung in their space and they know this is an image of their Angel. I have personally witnessed children who were afraid and shy most of the time become outgoing, happy kids ... when they have acknowledged their Angel it seems to open a whole new world for them because they know they are safe with their Guardian Angel watching over them.

Angels are so much more than we realize. I have found them to be great teachers and an endless source of information.

The Angels are the keepers and protectors of our children and surround each and every child with their wings of love. They focus on the nuturing, love and guidance of each and every little soul ... which speaks to my heart and makes it smile and I get to be called "The Angel Lady" by all these wonderful children.

Angels are so much more than messengers.

2005 Sharae Taylor

You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included with link. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.

Sharae Taylor is a well known Intuitive Angel Artist whose paintings are in world wide collections and her works have been exhibited with other well known Angel Artists Andy Lakey ,Donna Terody Sheratan,Gary Markowitz, past art editor of "Angel Times" magazine and K. Martin Kuri, Angel Artist and Author. Sharae has also participated in many Angel Expos and Angel Conferences with other well known Angel Authors like Alma Daniels author of "Ask Your Angels" and John Ronner author of "Do You Have a Guardian Angel". Her Angel paintings are featured in the newly released "Angels" DVD by Llewellyn and New World Music and was featured in the February 2005 issue of Planetlightworker.com. Sharae is a published author in magazines and ezine magazines. Children refer to Sharae as "The Angel Lady". To view Sharae's Angelic art and for further information visit her website at:http://www.angelsbysharae.com

Game Of Life and How To Play

Spiritual Canoe Trip for the Broken

Canoeing the Grand River or any wilderness water is visiting natures psychiatrist couch. The act of paddling has this stilling effect on the spirit house within. The aboriginal Indians put great time emphasis on connecting with creation and the Creator. They visited natures psychiatrist couch on a regular basis.

Today, setting aside reflective time is rare. Busy-ness rules, the traffic of life crushes. And few escape. Disconnected people become broken people and no income level is immune. Healing is needed a moments haven a breath of life for those bent too long.

Perhaps a simple drift on a river is the place to unravel everything. Tunnel vision is replaced by a panoramic sky-view of life. Magnificent scenery with each dip of the paddle. a slowing down a stepping out from the race. Captured moments are given lasting forever creating Liquid Medicine for the Soul.

As an avid canoeist I paddled to experience to take in as much of the wilderness as I could. And that was what canoeing was for me. But that changed with a canoe journey of a broken man. I saw the rejuvenation of a spirit a healing effect and witnessed the story that I am about to share.

Once when I was going on a one week canoe trip, I invited a man battling with a suicide of depressions. He was overcome by emotion wobbly in his thoughts, unsure of his decisions and physically zapped, but he said yes to the canoe trip. The trip pushed him. He was so busy just trying to do it. He was exhausted carrying packs around the rapids. He dreaded getting back in the canoe to paddle the next stretch. His anticipation of the whole experience was waiting for the trip to end.

Unknown, he was slowly woven into the fabric of those he traveled with. Seven days changed him within reflecting out. Laughter returned over mistakes once unforgiven. He gained confidence as unexplained fears were accepted. He jabbered as he paddled indulging in my youngest sons imagination. He even cooked his first campfire meal. And when sleep came, it was no longer restless but deep. He was so busy that he did not have time to let his mind drain his worth.

So what happen was it the mystic creation connection to the river and creation that changed this broken man?

I believe the healing came from stepping into an uncomplicated world. A simple world created by a canoe trip. The trip involved paddling, eating, sleeping and fellowship. And those were the only basics required to enjoy life. Everything else was swept away. The physical ness of the trip forced different values to the fore front and the mindset changed. The repetitive grooving effect from the consuming past or the fearful future was dismissed. Instead there was the dealing with the present change the bare essentials of surviving the canoe trip.

This strange personal time out on natures psychiatrist couch brought healing for the brokenness within. And it was strongly driven home when I received a card a couple of weeks later from the man I took. It simply said, thank you I no longer see the world in black and white but as a rainbow of colours again!

Garth Pottruff does guided canoe, kayak and rafting trips on the Grand River in Paris, Ontario, Canada. He is a forester with a love for nature, native history and teaching. A day on the Grand River in Southern Ontario with Garth is a worth while time out. For more information on the Grand River visit http://www.grandriverrafting.ca

Soul

How to Increase Your Energy

It takes more distress and poison to kill someone who has peace of mind and loves life." Bernie S. Siegel, M.D.

As a motivational speaker conducting leadership training and keynote speeches around the world, I'm often asked to combine the topic of leadership with "life balance" and stress management. Here are 15 easy tips that will help you increase your energy, enthusiasm and reduce stress. And if you're in a leadership position, how can you be an effective leader and set a good example if you are not motivated and energized to perform good work?

1) Get enough sleep. According to the National Sleep Foundation in Washington, D.C., 65% of Americans are sleep deprived. Try to get at least seven hours of sleep per night.

2) Go to bed and wake up around the same time each day. Within the same hour is ideal. Researchers at Stanford Universitys Sleep Disorder Center have found it is possible to catch up on sleep during the weekends, but this can also upset your circadian rhythms and leave you more tired on Monday morning.

3) Do not eat or drink anything within one hour of your bedtime. Your body will only have to work harder to digest your food, which interrupts sleep patterns. By drinking liquids right before bedtime its more likely youll have to get up in the middle of the night.

4) Put your nervous system on glide at least one hour before retiring for the night. You can do this by using soft lighting (no more than 25 watts) relaxing music, a scented bubble bath with candles or some other quiet activity. Try avoiding work at least three hours before you go to bed as this can energize you. The same is true with exercise.

5) Drink plenty of water during the day. Dehydration causes you to feel fatigued even if you are eating healthy and going to bed at a reasonable hour.

6) Plan at least one activity during the day that gives you pleasure and energizes you just to think about it.

7) Socialize with others. Make certain you spend quality time with other adults during the day. And if you work outside the home, preferably where you can discuss something besides business or the kids.

8) Exercise in the morning. Depending on your biorhythms and schedule, many attendees in my speaking engagements report that morning exercise gives them increased energy and a sense of greater calm during the workday. They often tell me they have to drag themselves out the door, but feel so much better afterwards.

9) Take a hot and cold shower to increase your energy. Upon awakening in the morning, take a hot shower with eucalyptus oil sprinkled on a loofah sponge. End with a shot of cooler water. This will invigorate your body, stimulate blood flow and bring oxygen to your cells.

10) Pour on the protein. Foods rich in protein help improve mental acuity and slow the absorption of carbohydrates. Eggs, fish, low fat dairy, nuts, seeds, peanut butter, also meat and poultry if youre not a vegetarian. Still, make sure you include plenty of other foods for moderation.

11) Cut back on caffeine. If you love coffee or colas (coffee lovers I can relate) cut back and consider adding green tea to your daily regimen. Green tea contains powerful anti-oxidants and less caffeine. It has enough caffeine to perk you up but usually not so much that you experience that crash later in the day.

12) Have a goal of taking at least two weeks vacation time a year. Work your way up to three and four weeks a year. Start taking off two days per week, if thats at all possible, where you refuse to do any type of work that would tax your mind and stress you out. If you are very busy or self-employed like I am, make this something to strive for in the future.

13) Spend time actually planning a getaway vacation. For many of us, staying home for a holiday is nice, but were still surrounded by bills, laundry, phone calls and other stressful distractions. Consider a goal of taking that dream destination vacation youve always wanted whether its to Tahiti, Paris, or a national park. If this seems virtually impossible, I strongly recommend you read the article titled How to Set Goals and Get What You Want under the free articles section at www.ColleenSpeaks.com I dreamed of an Alaska cruise for many years, practiced the simple time-tested techniques in that article, and cruised there for a third time in May 2005.

14) Get outdoors every day even if its overcast. Where I live in the Pacific Northwest, winters are normally gray. Winter 2005 was unusual with its turquoise-blue sunny skies and temperatures reaching almost 70 degrees in January. However, its a proven fact that with reduced sunlight, many people all over the world suffer from SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder, during the winter months.

15) Listen to mood enhancing music during the day. What type of music energizes you and gets those feel-good hormones into your brain? Blues and jazz? R&B or rock and roll? A word of caution: be careful listening to your favorite music right before bedtime. I sometimes listen to contemporary smooth jazzlots of saxophone and trumpets late into the night, and often it energizes me rather than putting me to sleep.

Take personal responsibility for maximizing your success and minimizing stress. You cant control many external circumstances such as other people, traffic and weather; but you can control your environment. Write down three action steps youll take to improve your well-being. Share these with someone. Develop a buddy system for accountability. When you write them down and commit to them, youre more likely to follow through. Heres to much success and less stress!

Colleen Kettenhofen is a professional speaker, author and workplace expert who has spoken in 47 states and six countries. She is co-author of The Masters of Success, as featured on The Today Show, along with Ken Blanchard and Jack Canfield. Colleen's most popular topics: leadership and management skills, dealing with difficult people, public speaking. To order the book, or for more free articles and e-newsletter, visit http://www.ColleenSpeaks.com, colleen@colleenspeaks.com Colleen is available for keynotes, breakout sessions and seminars.

You are free to reprint or repost this article provided Colleen's name, website and email are included at the end of the article.

What Is The Meaning Of Life
Manifest my center for healing

Persistence Pays Off

Persistence is to success as excuses are to failure. Never, never give up - there is always a way.

Jim Rohn said, "If you want something, you will find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse." And he should know. A college drop-out, and in a rut, in debt and unable to see his way out by his mid-twenties, Jim set out to achieve more. And he did. His persistence paid off and by age 31, he was a millionaire.

If you want more, you WILL find a way, because there always IS a way. With persistence and consistent action you will make it happen. If you don't believe me, keep reading.

Did you know that Thomas Edison had over 10,000 failed attempts to create the light bulb before he was successful? His persistence was as valuable as his invention. 10,000 failed attempts and look what he created! Even if you're not out to change the world, what could you create with an unresolved persistence?

Allyson Felix made it to the Olympics in just over one year. With an intense training schedule of five to six hours per day, her persistence paid off. By the end of her training season in 2003, she had broken many records, including one set by Olympic Gold Medalist, Marion Jones. At the 2004 Olympics, she won the Silver Medal by running a 22.18 in the 200-meter race. Amazingly, she did all of this while being a high-school senior and a freshman college student.

Persistence always pays off - and sometimes big time! It's a known fact that more business deals are inked when one of the parties is persistent. Now, being persistent is not the same as being pushy; rather, it is voicing your ideal fit and expertise to someone that may not be aware of the benefits they will receive working with you. They will appreciate your persistence and the benefits - but you have to make them known.

You've probably heard of Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, and their best-selling book series, Chicken Soup for the Soul. Did you know they marketed the original books to over 130 publishers, over a two-year period before a struggling publisher agreed to publish it. That's two years of phone calls, foot-peddling and persistence that started a best-selling book series. The authors knew the value of the book, it came down to making it known to the right publisher. Once the publisher saw the value, they knew what the benefits would be. Their first book went on to sell 8 million copies in 39 languages. And to date, the series has sold more than 100 million copies in over 45 languages.

At one point, JK Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter book series was on welfare and so broke that she wrote her story on pub napkins. She could have easily given up on writing, but she was persistent in her passion. She finished the first Harry Potter novel, found a literary agent and went to work marketing her book. Today, she is one of the wealthiest women in the world, with a net worth of about $1 billion dollars.

There are thousands of examples of ordinary people achieving extraordinary goals; these are just a few examples of how persistence paid off. Achieving your goals requires you to take consistent action, be persistent, and maintain a resolve to simply not give up. Below are steps you can take today, to get you closer to achieving your goals.

1. Take Measurable Actions - Every Day!

Persistence takes action. Take at least 3 actions every day that support goal achievement. If you need funding for your venture, then get on the phone and find an investor. If you want to lose weight, then eat well and exercise. If you want a new job, then take steps to make yourself a prime job candidate for the right company. Consistent action and persistence pays off.

2. Keep Showing Up

If you believe in what you're doing, just keep showing up. You never know when your break-through opportunity will appear, so bring your best to every situation. When the right opportunity appears, you'll be ready!

3. Remain Objective About Your Obstacles

Don't get emotional about the obstacles in front of you. Remember, there is always a way, and your success is inevitable. You just have to figure out how to move over, around or under your challenges.

4. Learn to Say "Next!"

Don't take rejections personally; they are nothing more than the natural process of weeding out the sub-prime opportunities. You're on the road to success and want to put your energies toward something that will be ideal for all parties involved - including you. The right opportunity will be met with an enthusiastic "Yes"!

5. Track Your Progress

It's easier to be persistent when you can see how far you've come. Track your progress and achievements so you can see how much closer you're getting with every step forward.

The road to success isn't always easy - but it isn't always hard. There may be times when you have to talk yourself through periods of self-doubt, and there will definitely be times when you defy the odds. Never, never give up because there is always a way to achieve your goals and experience the life you truly desire.

Every action of every day between now and your goal achievement counts. Take action, bring your best, find solutions to your obstacles, and say "Next!" to your rejections. Feel good about how far you've come and be persistent until you achieve your goals!

2007 Anne Bachrach.

Anne M. Bachrach is President of A.M. Enterprises in San Diego, CA. Anne has 23 years of experience training and coaching. The objective is to do more business in less time through maximizing people's true potential, and ultimately leading them to an even better quality of life. For more information on our services and learning tools, call Anne at 858-456-0160, or e-mail anne@accountabilitycoach.com

God

Effective Listening Skills Will Make You Successful!

Mastering the art of effective listening skills WILL make you successful! When others notice you are paying close attention to what they are saying, they feel understood, loved and cared for. Intently listening to another person and using active listening skills will allow them to feel important and respected by you.

There are many things you can do to communicate to others that you are actively listening to them. Your use of body language, thoughtful questions and conversational motivation will communicate your interest in them and what they have to say. Improper use of any of these can be disastrous and can lead to people highly misinterpreting you.

The body language you utilize will reinforce your verbal interest in someone else. Making eye contact and facing the other person when talking with them are two things you can do to promote a positive image of yourself. This is often done on a subconscious level and is a very important component of positive communication. Leaning towards the other person when talking to them and giving them undivided attention also communicates your interest.

Asking thoughtful questions tells the other person that you are really listening to them. It also communicates that you really have a desire to understand them. Questions provoke more in depth thought about the subject matter and problems may even be solved this way. Asking thoughtful questions allows the other person to clarify their agenda.

Learning to communicate with active listening skills requires practice. Repeating what was said clarifies the other persons thoughts. Offering challenges to what the speaker has said assists them in seeing discrepancies in their thinking. Asking questions allows the other person to think about different perspectives of their topic.

These skills are most useful in the business environment but are useful in any setting. Learning the art of active listening is a CRITICAL TOOL in the workplace and, if used wisely, can and WILL make you successful!

Ann Lewis, CTA-CC Expert Author & Owner of Simply Life Travel & Simply Life Coach www.simplylifetravel.com

www.simplylifecoach.com

George S Clason

The Abilene Paradox-Is It Fact or Fiction?

Recently I conducted a creative training program for a large aerospace firm. During the course I asked the training participants to gather into teams. Once their teams were formed I asked each team to brainstorm a creative solution to a hypothetical situation. During the follow-up and team discussion about their solutions, and the process by which they arrived at their recommendation, many of the team members admitted they went along for the ride. Either they felt overwhelmed by more dominate team members, or they did not believe their solution was as strong as the one agreed upon.

In essence they agreed because everyone else was in agreement, the Abilene Paradox revisited.

For those of you who have discovered that there is fact in the Abilene Paradox you may have, like me, found the outcome of this version of going along for the ride usually ends up in a less than satisfactory outcome. For those of you who would like a refresher or a heads-up on the Abilene Paradox here it is in a nut shell, as observed by management expert Jerry B. Harvey.

On a hot afternoon visiting in Coleman, Texas, the family is comfortably playing dominoes on a porch, until the father-in-law suggests that they take a trip to Abilene (fifty-three miles away to the north) for dinner. The wife says, "Sounds like a great idea." The husband, despite having reservations because the drive is long and hot, thinks that his preferences must be out-of-step with the group and says, "Sounds good to me. I just hope your mother wants to go." The mother-in-law then says, "Of course I want to go. I haven't been to Abilene in a long time."

The drive is hot, dusty, and long. When they arrive at the cafeteria, the food is as bad. They arrive back home four hours later, exhausted. One of them dishonestly says, "It was a great trip, wasn't it." The mother-in-law says that, actually, she would rather have stayed home, but went along since the other three were so enthusiastic. The husband says, "I wasn't delighted to be doing what we were doing. I only went to satisfy the rest of you." The wife says, "I just went along to keep you happy. I would have had to be crazy to want to go out in the heat like that." The father-in-law then says that he only suggested it because he thought the others might be bored.The group sits back, perplexed that they together decided to take a trip which none of them wanted. They each would have preferred to sit comfortably, but did not admit to it when they still had time to enjoy the afternoon.

How many times have you sat back and wondered why you went along for the ride? Was it to be nice; to avoid confrontation; to try something new out of boredom? Or, did you actually believe that what was in store on this ride was going to result in a more productive outcome?

Next time you are faced with going along with the ride or the Abilene Paradox syndrome shows up in your dialog, apply assertive behavior techniques. For example, use I language. In addition, when an idea is presented that you believe will take you down a less than desirable path, speak-up and provide an alternative solution. Keep the dialog moving forward until everyone has had the opportunity to say whats on their mind then select an alternative, when appropriate. Now, lets go back to the scenario on the front porch and apply these techniques.

You might say, I think your idea is great, however I like playing dominos here on the porch with you and the family. The response may then be something like this. Well it was just a thought; I didnt want you to think I wasnt thinking of you and your Mom. You might respond with another assertive statement, Its very relaxing here in the shade and I really believe the company is what its all about. The idea about driving fifty-three miles across a dusty, hot landscape may be dropped immediately or, there may be additional input from others about alternatives that can work for everyone.

This leads us to the next important step. Lets go back to the front porch conversation. If you are the person who suggests the fifty-three mile trek, stay assertive by contributing to the ideas as they begin to unfold during the discussion. Sulking because your idea did not meet with everyones agreement makes you look as if you do not have personal confidence or confidence in others to develop additional ideas. Something wonderful may happen, you may come up with a better idea or the other individuals may come up with another idea or stay focused on the current course of action. Not all change is needed or necessary.

Whether you are in a family, team or group setting. Ask yourself. Is the proposed idea the best solution? Speak up and use the I language. And, if you suggested the original idea, listen to the recommendations of others. Figuratively speaking, who knows you may discover you really dont need to take that long fifty-three mile trek across a hot and dusty landscape there may be a different route.

Barbara L. Fielder, Author & Speaker
President
THE FIELDER GROUP, INC.

Barbara Fielder, has created effective and dynamic leadership development programs for domestic and international companies. She specializes in Human Resources, organizational development, leadership, supervision, communication, creativity and change. Barbara writes frequently on topics covering a wide range of business, leadership and communication issues. She is the author of I'm Communicating, But...Am I Being Heard? Smart & Painless Training Solutions for Busy Professionals and Motivation in the Workplace. Barbara has also written and illustrated five childrens books about Missy the Kitty.

Barbara earned her Masters in Human Resources from Kennedy-Western University, and her BSBA from Redlands University. She is a member of the National Speakers Association, American Society for Training & Development, SHRM and National Speakers Association of Tennessee. Copyright 2007 Barbara L. Fielder
http://www.thefieldergroupusa.com 1-888-255-9248 barbara@thefieldergroupusa.com

George S Clason

Jatunmayo, The Great Wanka Warrior (Part Two) A Poem

In the seventh century, in the Mantaro Valley of Peru, surrounded by the Andes, lived the unconquerable Wanka warriors, likened to the Spartans of Greece, or Gladiators of Roma. Not even the Inca could subdue them, without the help of the Conquistadores of the 15th Century, and thus, the Conquistadores enslaved the Inca along with the Wanka as well. But this is a story about Jatunmayo, as he called himself, who hunted down his equal and they fought a great fight to see who should carry the name of the Greatest of Wanka Warriors in the valley at that time. And this is the story (Part two to the Wanka Warrior Saga):

The Clash and the Great Effort

And the flesh I took it as necessaryout of the inner bowelsswiftly
casting it aside; then from the neck and shoulders two pieces of flesh;
above his elbow joint, I cut deep into his muscle with my knife,
his right hand, I took his fingers as he tried to stop the plunge,
and from his flanks I cut out fat, and yet he was still not dead!
He was but a caucus when I was through, but he still lived!

(until when, I cut his throatthen he died!)

The Defeat and Aftermath
I cast his bones into the deep of the trees but the branches caught them,
a portion of his body now lay exposed, outside the rim of the woods.
I, who killed this warrior, marked him so, claimed his hide and his soul;
I left his shoulders, head and sides to the great Wanka God, Carhuancho

(the rest he left for the condors).
It was a great hunt between he and I, blow to blow, four hours the scuffle;
wealth by wit is what it was, we were the strongest of grips, in Jatunmayo.

Written in the Mantaro Valley of Peru, 8-13-2007.

See Dennis' web site: http://dennissiluk.tripod.com

Mohandas Gandhi

'Switchwords' Powerful Tool For Creating Your Destiny

It is a well-known fact that your thoughts have power. Show me a highly successful individual and I can guarantee you that he/she has strongly defined thoughts and dreams. Thoughts are creative; deliberate thoughts enable you to bring about intentional results. You have, no doubt, heard the expression 'It's all in the attitude'. We repeat it to each other when we think the other needs an attitude adjustment. Yet, do we really give merit to just how powerful our thoughts actually are?

When you control your thoughts you exercise creative power over every aspect of your life. What you think about determines the experiences you have. You can direct your thoughts to attract the good things in life, fame, wealth, health and prosperity. The things you desire can be yours. You have the power to enjoy life richly.

'Switchwords': Your Magic Wand To Prosperity

There has been much written on the subject of positive thinking, but it is more than just positive thinking. It is learning how to tap into your creative power with intentional thinking. In other words, you do not leave your thoughts and experiences to chance. You exercise control over your thoughts, decide what you are going where your mental focus will be placed in order to produce the results you want.

For some individuals the ability to tap into this power, using both their conscious and unconscious thoughts to make their dreams a reality comes easily. It's as if they are specially gifted just as a gifted musician has the ability to play music by ear. The rest of us need to train our conscious mind to utilize the subconscious and the universal consciousness in order to attract the results we want. There are many books written on how to attract success and most are solidly founded in truths if the exercises are practiced.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could wave a magic wand that would bring you positive benefits out of every aspect of your life? Recently I found a book entitled 'Switchwords' that gives me such an edge. To quote the author, Shunyam Nirav, "Your word is your wand...thought is creative. Intentional creative thoughts bring about intentional desired results.

... A researcher and genius named James T. Mangan (1896-1970)...identified about 100 certain single words that are extraordinarily effective when used as an intentional creative thought, to bring about a specific desired result. He called these special words "switchwords."

A "switchword" is the essence of an experience, condition, or desired result, expressed as a single word. Declare, affirm, chant, sing, or even just mentally "intend" the switchword, and like turning on an electric lamp with a switch, the desired result reliably appears."

Based on James T. Mangan's findings, Switchwords is a beautiful, inspiring, and beneficial 178-page e-book that guides you through the switches to your mind power. The first 43 pages are free to read. You'll learn many of the basic switchwords and how to use them effectively to intend thoughts that bring desired results.

Powerful Affirmations For Everyday Life

With explanations on how to use the switchwords, you can begin to experience exciting changes in your life. As I personally experiment with the Switchwords I am finding it empowering, extremely productive and fun. Through the use of Switchwords I am able to unclutter my mind and focus on intentional thought giving creative power to what I am thinking. In essence, I am becoming skilled at creating my own destiny.

'Switchwords' is 101 useful "one-word-affirmations" for everyday life. This wonderful guidebook is has been helping others gain mastery over their lives for over fifty years. It is available in digital and print format.

Do you desire make the 'Law of Attraction' work for you instead of against you? Are you finding it difficult to gain control over your thoughts? Do you tend to become unfocused. Switchwords can fine tune your mind power.

In my personal experience, as I learn to utilize the 'law of attraction' with intentional thoughts, Switchwords has enabled me to stay more clearly focused on a desired outcome. I think of Switchwords as exercises for my thinking processes so that I might develop 'law of attraction' mental strength.

Doran is a believer in the law of attraction. Check out the tools for envisioning your future. http://healing-truths.com and http://atdorans.com/switchwords

Oprah Winfrey

How To Master The Art of Conversation

The art of conversation is a skill shared by most successful people. Good conversation promotes an image of self-confidence, intelligence, and wittiness.

People who always seem to rise to the top of their professions and are well respected by others who share the ability to converse with anybody in every situation.

People who seem to speak effortlessly and efficiently with others are generally well liked and highly successful.

If you need to improve your conversational skills, here are a few tips that can help you enhance your conversational skills and boost your image.

1. Always say what you think, not what you think others want you to say. Especially in a professional setting, learning to express your views and ideas in a positive, non-threatening manner will invite reactions and responses.

Effective leaders always say what they are thinking and express their ideas freely. Having the courage to speak your mind as well as listening openly to the views and ideas of others is a sure way to earn the respect and admiration of all those you encounter.

2. Listen carefully to what others are saying. People often interpret things said by others in a way that clouds their ability to hear what people are intending to say.

By giving your full attention to the speaker, you can hear what they intend for you to hear instead of what you want to hear.

The art of conversation includes the ability to listen to others as well as the ability to speak effectively.

3. Always assume that a speaker is saying exactly what they mean to say. Even if it seems unclear, try to find meaning and coherence to the words they are saying and give them the respect of hearing what they want you to hear.

In any conversation, the ability to give respect is just as important as receiving it. The art of conversation is a give and take between parties, not one speaker and one listener.

4. Any conversation can be broken down into three parts.

The first part is small talk. Small talk is dictated by social rules and includes polite greetings, inquiries about the well-being of others, etc.

Stage two is the end of the small talk and moving on to the purpose of the conversation such as business, the sharing of opinions and personal views.

Without the ability to express yourself efficiently, the conversation can easily slip back into small talk, lessening the chances of accomplishing the initial goal of the conversation.

The third part of a conversation is where the various ideas and views expressed can be merged into a satisfying end for all parties involved in the conversation.

The art of conversation is a learned skill that is common among successful, energetic people. If you are unable to effectively express yourself in any situation, you will likely find that you do not attract the attention and command the respect that is bestowed upon some others.

People who talk freely and easily with others usually find more professional and personal fulfillment than those who are introverted and silent.

If you want to improve your professional and social standing, learn to communicate efficiently and in a positive manner.

You will notice a dramatic difference in the way other people perceive you if you demonstrate self-confidence and project a friendly, informed image.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

Faith

Burning Life in Second Life

Burning Life is a fantastic time in Second Life, based on the real Burning Life in California, Daddy Linden puts up four sims for anyone with the yen to be artistic without prim count!! (Prim counts are the number of items that you have on a selected area of land in Second Life.)

It was celebration of music and art in a grand style, and grandiose builds, confirming Elven Enchantment's Vision Statement: "Everything in Second Life is art, and everyone is an artist." There was art there for all types of art lovers and depending on your enjoyment of art could be described as the good, the bad, and the ugly, but it was so much fun to view all the works and taking pictures of those ones that I thoroughly enjoyed. While trekking through the sims enjoying the wide variety of music from classical to rock and roll.

There was the fantastic sculpture of made by my friend RacerX and it was a mixture of build and particles and it was a rotating sculpture of himself, complete with fireworks! There was a build of a giant tree with an ocean floating in the air with ocean life swimming within its confines. A glass forest, giant chairs, a marble dance floor with golden couples dancing the waltz, abstract art abounded, rainclouds and rainbows. Some builds celebrated life, death, remembrance, and reminders that we all live on a planet called earth and we need to keep this planet healthy and clean so future generations will enjoy it as well. There was a lava and ice castle, the Twin Towers, and a circus, a maze with dead ends and at the center a sculpture, a Mayan pyramid, builds that had dice and dominoes inside within closed buildings making me wonder--how did they do that?

On September 30, 2007, was the day the man was burned. Unfortunately, the sim was full to capacity and I missed this event. However, I did spy some burning men and women at the sim I was on and was mollified. All this mayhem and magic disappeared at midnight on October 1, burned into our memories making us wonder if it was really there at all.

Atlantis Jewell
http://elvenenchantment.blogspot.com
Home of Drathon Montague Scripted Art and Exclusive Sponsor of Digital Knight Scripted Art Studio

Remodeling Your Home On A Budget

Discover How to Live a Happy Life

Living a happy life is not something that we just know how to do. As we go on in life it almost seems as if people teach us how to live miserable lives instead of happy ones. The truth is that you are supposed to live a happy life. Here are 3 keys to help illuminate the road to a happy life.

1. Find out what makes you happy.

Ask someone to write down 50 things that make them happy and you will find that most people start struggling to come up with things after the first 10 or 20. If you dont know what makes you happy then you dont know what to work for to make you happy. Stumbling across happiness is like stumbling across a winning lottery ticket, it rarely happens. So what makes you happy?

2. Pursue what makes you happy.

Now that you know what makes you happy its time to start implementing a plan that will help you reach happiness. Its great that you now what makes you happy now but information without action is useless. What actions will it take for you to be happy? A hint to doing this is making the entire actions dependant on you. If your happiness is dependant upon someone else you are on the wrong track. Dont rely on other people to make you happy.

3. Learn not to stress.

Notice here that I said learn not to stress. This may take some time but its important that you learn to not stress out over everything. Stress not only causes mental fatigue but it can also cause physical problems in your body. If necessary go to a stress management seminar and learn how to do this. The less stress that you have in your life the happier you will be.

Is there greatness on the inside of you but you don't know how to achieve it? Jason has just completed his brand new 7 part e-course, 'Find Your Greatness'

Get it free here: Find Your Greatness

Do you want to learn how to create law of successful habits and goals? Download Jasons new FREE ebook here: Goal Setting

Jason Osborn has dedicated himself to changing thousands of lives by helping people find their greatness and true potential through his Find Your Greatness Newsletter.

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